Posted on 12/18/2007 5:57:13 PM PST by Enough_Deceit
I posted the following on Free Republic on 10/24/07:
My husband and I have 3 daughters and two sons. They have all been raised the same with conservative values. We have taught them about God and tried to be good examples. They were taught about work and to take responsibility for their own actions. The daughters turned out fine.
However, the sons went off the deep end. The old boy has all kinds of facial piercings (I can look beyond that)and keeps on getting in trouble with the law for drug related offences. Lucky for him the felonies have been bumped down to misdemenors (sp?). I have told him that I will no longer bail him out for his stupidity, and I have stuck to my guns with the last episode.
The next son has signed up to go into the Marines. He also has a drug history, has a difficult time with authority, blames everyone else for problems of his own making. This kid has not lived with us for a few years as he was on drugs and got somewhat violent with me. I kept in touch, or at least tried to. I hate being called an "f-ing b**ch".
A few years go by and the young Einstein doesn't finish high school. He asks for my help. Against my husband's wishes, I move him up to where we are at and get him enrolled in an on line school. He is not disciplined enough to finish in a timely manner. The recruiter is having a cow. There is nothing I can do. He goes off on his Dad one morning. After all sorts of foul language thrown at my dear Husband, my husband kicks him out. The son is in the yard making obscene gestures, and my husband gets emails threatening him, which I have kept.
This boy ends up with his favorite sister who has always felt sorry for her brothers. Boy did she have an eye opener. He continued on his druggie ways, lied to her and her husband, etc. Same old story. He moved back to the valley. They moved to CO. Son can't understand why sister is angry with him. She says that he is souless and will lie to anyone.
Son calls me to chew me out every once in a while. Then he feels bad, apologizes and says it is dad he is angry with. Says he wants to make peace with dad after boot camp. Yeah, right. He tells me not to write to him, not to show up at his graduation, etc. I wouldn't go to his graduation after the way he has treated his father.
Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to give you some background. My questions for all of you more experienced Freepers are: 1. How is he getting in the Marines with a history of drug problems? 2. His recruiter knows all about his history. What happens if he starts withdrawal in boot camp? 3. Can the Marines indeed turn such a dipstick around? Will it be for show, or do they really mean it? 4. Can we expect any changes in this kid?
Thank you for your time. I haven't given up on the boys, I continue to pray for them. I just won't be part of their nonsense. Semper Fi
No one in our family has heard from this son of ours in a very long time. Probably around the time I got the last nasty phone call around the 10/21 or 10/22. I have been very concerned, worried if this kid was alive or what. His brother gave me an oblique hint.
I risked this kid's wrath one more time. Hey, it is a free country. So, I called his recruiter and ask him if my son is still scheduled to go into boot camp. Keep in mind that I have helped the recruiters over the past year when he was acting like an a** towards them after he signed up.
The Sgt. sounded amazed and said, "You didn't know? He didn't tell you?" Tell me what. My son, Jacob, went into boot camp on 10/23. Recruiter says that he is doing well and is scheduled to graduate on 1/18.
Sgt starts giving me all the particulars on the "family day" and the graduation, etc. I didn't go into detail, but I told the recruiter that Jacob didn't want us there. Sgt says, "Oh yeah. Jacob requests that no one is told that he is gone. Guess what. He is ours now and I outrank him. Here is his address."
My son must have really ticked off his recruiters because I asked what the proper way to address the envelope would be. He said if I wanted to get him in trouble, I should address it to "General." First thing out of the guy's mouth. (Like the relationship isn't already strained enough.) He told me that it was a free country and that they wouldn't do anything if we showed up.
Well, I sent a card addressed to our RECRUIT (not general)telling him how proud his dad and I are of him and how we want to see him on his graduation day. I told him that if I don't hear from him soon, I will assume all is fine with him and we will see him then.
Boot camp is a hard thing and I feel that it's successful completion should be celebrated. I want to be supportive of my son and show him that I am proud of probably the hardest thing he has done thus far in his life. Yet, I don't want to intrude either. Any ideas/advice from seasoned parents/military folks.
Much appreciated.
Wow! You have to be proud on so many fronts, not the least being your son’s having the good sense to recognize that the USMC might help him (as well as his helping the USMC and USA). Those Drill Sargeants will shape him up. A team of wild horses couldn’t keep me away from the graduation.
I had to laugh at that
Prayers are still with you and your family.
Trust your heart. I can only say what I would do.
And thats go. If from there he still doesnt want to
see you, then it wont be on you. You did what you could.
God bless you and guide you.
Keep in touch.
You may just find a different man. I am praying so.
Yes … go to his graduation … even if he refuses to recognize you afterward, he will know in his heart of hearts that you were there. It will be something you will always remember and in the years to come, when he is a little older and more experienced in life … he will remember as well, with great fondness.
Prayer up.
I would continue to attempt to reach him via mail and send him a big care package for Christmas.
Continue to ask to go to his graduation. Even if he has been an ass in the past there has go to be some part of him that will want you there. You just need to connect to that part.
God Bless and good luck.
Thank you for the update. Ive wondered a couple of times how things turned out. You must be very proud of him. Blessings to you and him. I dare say at this point if he doesnt call or write telling you stay away you have the ok to go. He may also have wanted to surprise you by just showing up unannounced in his uniform. Just my thoughts, my friend.
When my kids were about that age they had a rebellious streak about them. I generally made remarks like, “Funny how you know everything but you can’t seem to get you life together.”
My problem children had to learn things the hard way, but they turned out just fine.
Military training provides people a lot of options about discovering themselves the civilian life does not provide. I think earning responsibility has a lot to do with it.
They learn pride, respectability and sense of purpose.
I think you son will do well for himself.
btw. please update with pictures someday.
I am not all that sure that the Marines are or should be a drug rehabilitation program. Instead, you may want to pray for your son and encourage him to enter a rehab center and when he completes the program and remains clean, he can enter the Marines.
Even though we know that the military was never designed to be any form of a rehabilitation service, it has been for many. I know from personal experience that military training and experience can be the difference between a life ill spent and a productive existence.
there was a period when a lot of young men got their introduction to drugs through military service. Thankfully, that seems to have subsided if not been totally eradicated.
One of my sons recently finished Army basic training .. viva la difference! He didn’t have drug issues, but was totally unfocused and udisciplined. That is no longer the case.
But like an AA, I think the first step is recognizing a problem that can be solved, and in this case, Jacob found his direction in the USMC. I will pray for him and his family.
I am extremely glad that your son finished basic (in a boy, out a man) and (hopefully), is on the right tract. Do you know his future assignment?
Right now he’s in AIT at Ft. Bragg ... coming home Thursday night !!! Our family went to Ft. Benning for graduation, just the highlight of our year.
Wow, it sure seems that the young man has ‘issues’. If anyone can do anything positive with him, it’s the USMC. Like my recruiter told my Mother many years ago...’We can’t make a man out of him...but if there’s a man in there, we’ll find him.’.
They found him.
I hope the same good fortune comes your way. Semper Fi.
That’s a killer laugh!
Almost 2 months now and they haven’t kicked him out. That’s good news. I’d go to his graduation prepared to greet a new son, or an old one you may have to give space to until he decides to come (figuratively) back to. The best to you.
Thanks for the update.
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