Posted on 09/02/2010 1:17:54 PM PDT by HushTX
This weekend I'm going out of town to visit family. First we're going to see my wife's side of the family, and following that we're going to see my parents and younger sisters. Part of me is looking forward to this, part of me is dreading it.
I will be telling both sides of the family that I am joining the Army. Seems like a good thing, right?
Here's the problem: My wife and I have decided that she will be moving and taking a job near her family. This means giving up her current job and taking a $10K a year pay cut from what she makes now. This decision was made entirely because I will be gone for an undetermined amount of time- I haven't signed yet, so don't know how long AIT and such will be- and this will be the first time in her life she will be living on her own. I want her to have family around so she has a good support network. Unfortunately, her father learned about her plan to take a different job with a pay cut, but does NOT know it is because I am going into the military. As you might expect, he came unglued. I can understand. If we were just moving and losing 10K a year that would seem insane, especially given the state of the economy.
I had hoped to have my contract signed already and be on DEP so that this weekend could be a positive reveal, a nice surprise that most of the family will respect and be excited about. Instead, it has turned into something negative because of the drama that has ensued. Bring on the curse of the in-laws, I guess.
On the other hand, I have no idea how my parents are going to react. I expect them to be supportive, since I almost joined the Army quite a few years ago. Circumstances led me down a different path, but I've decided to finally finish what I started. I think they will understand, but even if they don't it's my life. Still, I wanted to make it a nice occasion.
In any event, look back to what I said about my wife's father. I know he is very pro-military, and I think he would normally accept and support this. However, I am dreading this weekend's gathering because he is so livid over the whole mess, due to having only half the story. HOW this happened, I am not sure, but that's irrelevant. All I know is that this man is not known for his patience or his tolerance, or his ability to keep his cool. I know he has a great deal of passion when it comes to taking care of his family, and I know right now he sees this as an irresponsible and STUPID step, and is probably cursing my name for putting his daughter in such a bad position. Honestly, though, while she will be taking a $10K a year cut, together our annual income will increase because of my enlistment, my educational opportunities (that I have been struggling with) will improve, and I will finally be able to satisfy my desire to serve.
I don't know what I am looking for with this post. Maybe advice on how to handle it. Maybe input from fathers who have had daughters in similar situations, or husbands who have gone through similar. Maybe all I need is a "go get 'em, Tiger" from my fellow FReepers, whose support and fellowship I have always valued. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest and am fine with nobody giving a damn.
All I really know is that this is going to be one damn wacky weekend, and if things go south it's going to make basic training seem like a paradise in my mind's eye. Man... I really hate family gatherings.
Sometimes I think the families suffer more. The troops have “3 hots and a cot” everyday. (Of course those on mission only have the hard ground to sleep on.) But the family sometimes worries about the grocery bill. When I was in the Navy’s attitude was “If the Navy wanted you to have a wife it would have issued you one.”
Why get into the past, the current military pays very well, and married is the normal status of a modern soldier.
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