Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
Posted on 09/16/2010 12:00:55 PM PDT by geraldmcg
Arizona (IMpossible News) -- Finally, someone has come up with a very welcome solution to the immigration crisis on the American-Mexican border. Welcome Centers are slated to be built every 100 miles along the border to assist Mexican migrants with efficient processing of visas, temporary work permits or American citizenship applications. Each center will be as modern and welcoming as our highway rest stops. Features included will be a free clinic for basic health check ups, a library of free American literature, coffee bar, spacious bathrooms with showers and baby care rooms, free survival supplies for those who must return home and a welcome committee to orient documented immigrants before entry to the USA.
Attractive brick walls will span the distance and armed narcotics officers with dogs will be posted every 1/4 mile with the latest surveillance equipment to insure the safety of immigrants entering the USA. They will also assist immigrants in finding the nearest Welcome Center.
Local churches and charities will be encouraged to engage with any Mexicans that approach the borders in need of humanitarian aid. Special border aid officers will be posted at secure portals every 1/4 mile to facilitate this form of basic needs distribution.
Any immigrants already in the USA may enter a Welcome Center to find instant amnesty and assistance in acquiring the legal documents they may need. Or they may choose at that time to return to their Mexican home town.
Similar plans are in store for the American-Canadian border, with Welcome Centers posted every 300 miles.
(This fictional report is for entertainment purposes only)
Next thing you know, they’ll be opening South of the Borders south of the border.
Actually, I’d like to see “Welcome Centers” every 100 YARDS along the border... with heavily armed Border Patrol and National Guard troops.
Actually, a government employyee greeting each illegal with”I’m from the government; I’m here to help” will send them flying back across the Rio Grande.
Can you imagine explaining a 1040 to an illegal? The poor guy’s eyes will look like a slot machine at full speed.
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