triangulate this

I had this friend who worked as a service advisor at a car dealership. One time he had a customer come in with this real piece. When I say the car was a piece, I mean this thing was a death trap. No brakes to speak of, corrosion in the floor boards, everything leaked, the only thing that worked was the radio. The car was basically scrap metal with a little plastic and glass thrown in to sweeten the deal. The customer had brought it in for state inspection and I guess he didn't realize that his car needed work. That grinding noise when he stepped on the brake pedal and the smoke emanating from the engine compartment should have been clues, but whatever.

When informed by my friend that the car needed $5000 worth of work just to get it through inspection, the guy flipped. At first he just stood there mumbling that his car was a piece of crap, it was unassailable logic which is why my friend said nothing as his customer repeated the phrase like fifty times. Then the customer asked if he could see the car while it was still up on the lift, so my friend took him out to the shop. Upon seeing the rust and various other needed repairs with his own eyes, the customer looked over at a gas can sitting on the technician's toolbox (it was empty, but he didn't know that) and started talking about burning the car right there.

Morris sometimes thinks he's Bobby Fischer, playing both ends of the chess board to see if he can beat his own strategy. Having helped Bill Clinton triangulate, he wants a do over to see if he can beat triangulation. Everyone has to have a hobby

Well, excellent. This is that feature of FR we call "whitespace", wherein a poster places a thread whose principal offering is room to write stuff that would get a thread pulled if we made it a vanity. It's a public service, and we thank you.

I was thinking about Dick Morris and derelict motor vehicles myself today - well, to be honest, I wasn't, because the terlit just blew up, but I thought it would provide a smooth segue into my complaint. Now, I like this terlit pretty well. It came with the house and there's a certain sentimental fondness toward a porcelain convenience that provides both a receptacle for one's alimentary contents from whichever end they emanate, AND a place to get rid of the evidence as long as it's in amounts approximating one's alimentary contents. A pound of pot, well, that just isn't going to work and you wouldn't want to try swallowing one anyways, but I mean it's a sort of important thing otherwise. Do you realize the provisions of the Fourth Amendment have pretty much been discarded for the amount of drugs you can flush down yer terlit? James Madison wrote "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized, except when it's enough blow to circle the crapper only once before it hits the sewer and then the SWAT team gets to kick down yer door." The guy had a way with words. And so a lot of conservatives and libertarians figure they have a case against search and seizure here, but what I want to know is what about the terlit? Now that the gummint has mandated 1.6-gallon tanks, are we justified in demanding a Constitutional review? You can't tell me the Founding Fathers anticipated 1.6-gallon terlits, can you? I thought not.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I gotta go mop the bathroom floor. It turns out you can't flush your autumn leaf pile, either. Not that there's anything illegal about it.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.