...it is satire, right?
Posted on 06/19/2011 9:11:57 PM PDT by cruise_missile
Speaking at the Saul Alinsky & Luddite Alliance Institute in Sant Cruz, California yesterday. President Obama expanded his popular ATM initiative. The initiative to rid the country of job-killing ATM's and replace them with people.
The President explained that the first ATM was introduced December 1972 at Lloyds Bank by IBM in the UK and that is when high tech started killing jobs. Then he said, "Why not other inventions since 1972? Why should they get a pass? If we can change the borders of Israel to 1967, why not the borders of job-killing technology?" Obama said with his preacher like rhetoric.
It was so universally accepted by people here in Sant Cruz that President Obama decided to expand his job plan initiative further with a little help from his teleprompter.
President Obama explained other structural problems with the economy and how the vending machine lobby has taken away jobs. As he said with conviction in his voice and a broken cadence, "The vending machine lobby has displaced the local candy man business on almost every corner in New York City. How horrible is that for little children with sad little faces with big rosy cheeks."
The president moved right back to attacking the high-tech job-killing lobby and GPS satellites. GPS satellites are also on target for this job creation president. He also outlined how he would turn off all GPS satellites since they have replaced so many flight navigators. And this has even been a more recent job-killer than the ATM's. "So they are definitely fair game." He said. "This also means there will be more need for FAA personnel in towers since more airplanes will be more likely to need help for wandering airplanes."
Another reason for ending the GPS program Obama explained, "NASA is doing Islamic outreach projects now. They don't need to be bothered with satellites and that job-killing techy stuff that we've all ready done before anyway." This was in reference to Obama canceling NASA's manned space flight for the foreseeable future.
Also, our President Obama presented several other ideas including the blocking of Internet e-mail. "How many post office jobs has the Internet cost the country? And this has been within the last fifteen years. How many newspapers has the Internet put out of business?" He demanded! As he gazed into the enthusiastic crowd. "How many librarians have lost their jobs because of the Internet?" No one in the crowd could answer his insightful questions.
Like a laser, next on President Obama's list were golf carts. Obama has signed an executive order banning golf carts because they have displaced so many caddies. A caddy with out a job or health care. "How callous are these republicans that sit and ride in their golf carts", he said with reflective wonderment. Obama said he has personal knowledge of the caddies that no longer show up to carry his clubs, Gatorade or Mint Juleps.
Also, Obama also said the biggest impediment to his shovel ready job stimulus has been Caterpillar. "Just how many jobs has Caterpillar killed?" He said. "At least a billion shovel ready jobs. That's how many!" As he slammed down his clutched fist knocking over one of his teleprompters and spilling Kool-Aid all over the Che Guevara delegation.
Obama said that if these initiatives are passed right away. That unemployment will be fall below 8% within days and not weeks.
President Obama is now looking for another $2 Trillion dollar stimulus and a nice tax hike on job-killing high tech companies that have put so many Americans out of work.
It looks like President Obama is ready to shift the economy into high gear or should I say, "Gidyup Mr. President!!!"
Without the aid of his shorted teleprompter, Obama improvised his speech and shouted with passion. “Throw down your shovel and pick up your teaspoon and follow me to Hope and Prosperity.” The crowd started shouting in unison, “TEASPOON, TEASPOON, TEASPOON!!!”
...it is satire, right?
It is excellent! But, satire?
Lordy...I hope so.
Time will tell.
It is excellent! But, satire?
Lordy...I hope so.
Time will tell.
Sorry about the burp.
‘Scuse me...;o)
Since “Mr. Teleprompter” put those poor Cue Card guys out of work, the Economy has never recovered.
LOL!
Yes, but will he give up his golf cart, GPS, ATM, vending machine candy, and TOTUS?
I don’t think so!
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
OINK!
I’m lovin’ it. ;-)
LOL!
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