If You’re A Democrat, You Need The School Of Seminar Begging

Are you a Democrat? Have you always wanted to live the lavish lifestyle but have no drive or desire to get it for yourself? Has your redress to the federal government – like the Occupy Wall Street crowd – left you out in the cold with a sore anus? If you’ve answered yes to all three questions, you need to learn how to acquire things the old fashioned way. You beg for it. That’s right. You need to get down on your knees and do some groveling.

And here at the School Of Seminar Begging, we teach you not only to learn how to grovel, but we teach you how to do it with panache. Our top rate instructors will show you how to ask for something without asking for it...

We homeschool and we’ve been saving box tops so we can afford healthcare.

Yeah, she was shameless.

Why didn't she just say, "We homeschool our children and we don't even have electricity. We do it with candlelight - just like our Founding Fathers - and then we plug in a radio at our neighbors house between 12 p.m. - 3 p.m. EST."

She continues, "We're dreaming of actually having healthcare one day. But things have been a little harder since paw lost his foot to gangrene a year ago. If we're lucky, we hope to have the electricity on by Christmas so the kids can have a hot meal."

Still speaking, "Those store bought Brats don't cook well over candles. But with just a couple of more bags of cans, things will actually be looking up. That's if I could get to sleep on an actual sleep number bed. But lately, I've been waking up at night in cold sweats on our straw bed wondering what life would be like if you weren't on the radio."

She keeps talking, "You're the greatest Rush. So I woke up and made sure that I wrote it down to call you. Well, that's what I thought I wrote. I couldn't see very well, because I couldn't get the candle lit and my eyesight isn't what it used to be. Of course I should be able to finally get that eye exam this spring. After we buy the kids some new shoes and get the electricity hooked back up and get paw some new crutches. Right now he's just using two sticks to get around. And they keep breaking."

She finally finishes, "And then there's my sciatica. It keeps acting up too. And of course I worry about the elections and how I'm going to keep up with them without a computer. I did dream the other night that I actually had a MacBook Pro. I was surfing that thing you call the Internet and the children were educated beyond belief. And I was sleeping on a new sleep number bed. And then one of the dogs woke me up chasing after the chickens again and I started wondering if paw and I would make it to our 46th wedding anniversary. But then I thought that none of that really mattered if Rush wasn't on the radio. Because those three hours a day mean more to me than a new pacemaker, which I may need next winter. What I'm trying to say is you're the best in the world Rush, and life sure would be a little sweeter with a new MacBook Pro."

LOL!

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