Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Are You a Democrat, a Republican or a Marine?
The Coach's Team ^ | 5/12/18 | Unk

Posted on 05/12/2018 8:18:23 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge rusty knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you yelling “allah akbar!”

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

A Democrat’s Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP? Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a “paint and weed” day. Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. I need to debate this with some friends at Starbucks for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!

A Republican's Answer

BANG!

A Marine's Answer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click. (Sounds of reloading.)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester silver tips or hollow points?”

(Sounds of boot stomping on terrorist’s head)

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Son: “Dad, can I shoot the next one?”

(Sound of K-Bar being unsheathed)

SLASH! SLASH! STAB! STAB! STAB! STAB! STAB! STAB!

Wife: “You are not taking that to the taxidermist!”

Share this with your favorite Democrat, Republican or a Marine!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: conservatives; liberals; marines
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-26 next last

1 posted on 05/12/2018 8:18:23 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

Haha!

I was thinking “Do I empty the magazine to make sure he’s dead or do I conserve ammunition in case he has buddies in the area?”


2 posted on 05/12/2018 8:21:46 AM PDT by generally ( Don't be stupid. We have politicians for that.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

Sniper reply.

Bang.

Wow, he has an India beauty mark now.

One shot, one kill.


3 posted on 05/12/2018 8:27:07 AM PDT by where's_the_Outrage? (Drain the Swamp. Build the Wall.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

Artillery: “Expend all ammo”
*Entire block is leveled*
“Urban renewal at it’s finest.”


4 posted on 05/12/2018 8:48:54 AM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare

Kid front Brooklyn: BANG! Damn. Should have also brought the baseball bat.


5 posted on 05/12/2018 8:52:01 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (What is a Blue City? First world cities run by third world politicians.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

‘Scalp the little heathen!’


6 posted on 05/12/2018 8:58:23 AM PDT by onedoug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

In the same vein, in this cultural war for the soul of America, are you a Leftist Traitor, a Freedom Fighter, a POW, or MIA?

A lot of people who are supposedly on the Right are POW’s or MIA’s.


7 posted on 05/12/2018 8:58:59 AM PDT by Jim 0216 (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax
At a hearing months after the terrorist was effectively dispatched:

Democrat Politician: “Do you believe in hindsight that those techniques were immoral?”

8 posted on 05/12/2018 9:00:31 AM PDT by glennaro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

A few too many bangs - Only eight rounds per magazine.


9 posted on 05/12/2018 9:01:02 AM PDT by BeauBo
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

Eh... none of the above for me. Kimber’s are overpriced and I’m not a fan of 45’s. But in the situation I have confidence that a couple of well placed rounds from my early 1980’s Colt Detective Spl (+P 158 gr hollow points) would settle the issue nicely.


10 posted on 05/12/2018 9:01:59 AM PDT by NRx (A man of integrity passes his father's civilization to his son, without selling it off to strangers.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax
"You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot."

Someone's been spying on me."

11 posted on 05/12/2018 9:10:50 AM PDT by semaj (U\)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: generally

I shot Expert with .45 in the Army, if you need more than one round, back to the range.


12 posted on 05/12/2018 9:31:38 AM PDT by Little Bill (VN 65 - 68)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

Join the Marines. See the world. Meet interesting people and then kill them.


13 posted on 05/12/2018 9:42:14 AM PDT by Silentgypsy ( “If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.”__Scorpion)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: where's_the_Outrage?

Better: one shot, two kills.


14 posted on 05/12/2018 9:43:03 AM PDT by Silentgypsy ( “If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.”__Scorpion)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax
Explain to me how an M1911 gets 12 bangs out of one full magazine plus one chambered in carry condition #1. And how there can be a hammer "click" when the slide is locked back open to drop the empty and load the next magazine (of 8 rounds in a Chip McCormick M1911 magazine vs the standard 7 round M1911 issue magazine). My 1911 says "SLAM" when the slide catch is released to chamber the round from the next magazine.

This joke is a joke. Try a (now-defunct) Para Ordnance P14-45 double-stack carry gun.

15 posted on 05/12/2018 9:46:36 AM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax

“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click. (Sounds of reloading.) “

Dang! Is that the new 12 round Kimber in .45 ACP?


16 posted on 05/12/2018 10:05:14 AM PDT by dljordan (WhoVoltaire: "To find out who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oldpuppymax
I kinda thought the Marine would be the one bang exhibiting excellent marksmanship.
17 posted on 05/12/2018 10:46:01 AM PDT by ealgeone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dljordan

That’s a Kimber with a drum magazine or a Hollywood gun.

BTW - I counted the bangs also. Not sure if that is a blessing or a curse.


18 posted on 05/12/2018 10:46:45 AM PDT by Dutch Boy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: where's_the_Outrage?
Wow, he has an India beauty mark now.

Careful, now, someone might accuse you of "cultural appropriation"!!

/S

19 posted on 05/12/2018 10:55:36 AM PDT by BwanaNdege ("The church ... is not the master or the servant of the state, but the conscience" - Luther)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Little Bill
I shot Expert with .45 in the Army, if you need more than one round, back to the range.

If you need more than one shot, empty the magazine into the terrorist for some real-world training. Then you'll shoot better on the next terrorist.

20 posted on 05/12/2018 11:27:33 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-26 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson