How to Talk to Your Family About Racism on Thanksgiving

Harper's Baazars ^ | November 19, 2018 | Rachel Cargle

[GuavaCheesePuff]

Toxic ideologies often start around family dinner tables. It's not just an uncle saying a racist joke, or a grandmother determining her xenophobic ideas as “a part of her time.” These comments seep into how we make decisions in voting booths, how judges rule in their chambers, how teachers guide students in school classrooms, how employment decisions are made, and how police react in high-stakes situations.

After a year of relentless atrocities that don’t always make for easy conversation at the dinner table, it's important to make Thanksgiving preparations beyond the tablescape and the menu. This year, I want you to prepare for something a little more nuanced than stuffing or cranberry sauce: I want you to prepare to rock the family boat, with important discussions that stretch beyond the surface of “How's the weather?” and “Who are you dating these days?” So, I'm coming to you with a guide that should push you beyond apathy, and instead, teach you how to be a part of the solution. As Angela Davis reminds us, it is not enough to not be racist. You have to be anti-racist, and if you are not actively being part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem. So here is some language to help you navigate Thanksgiving day dinner.

[ScottinVA]

My wife and I don’t allow politics to be discussed at the dinner table, unless we are certain all are in agreement. An enjoyable holiday can go south in a hurry if political bickering forces its way in.

[ScottinVA]

I could not agree more. There’s plenty of subject matter to discuss withough issues that will inevitably cause conflict.

[Alas Babylon!]

...you are congenitally flawed from birth.

What's more racist than this?

Can we also call whites shiftless, lazy, prone to criminality but otherwise happy, good singers and dancers?

[zanarchist]

Been to many Thanksgiving dinners with relatives at 59 years of age. I don’t believe racism has ever come up as a topic to be discussed at the family gathering.