Posted on 02/18/2019 6:57:28 AM PST by w1n1
This Colorado man fought an Attacking Mountain Lion with his bare hands (Foot) and survived!
The 31-year-old runner told reporters that he ran up a nature trail earlier this month near Fort Collins and made his way to the top to take in the sights.
But on his way down, he said, he ran into some ice on the trail, so he took a detour and hopped on West Ridge Trail at Horsetooth Mountain Open Space, a 2,700-acre park known for its hiking, biking and horseback riding trails.
Moments later, he said, he heard pine needles rustle behind him. Then a stick snapped. "I turned around and was just pretty bummed out to see a mountain lion chasing after me," Kauffman said Thursday during a news conference.
Officials with Colorado Parks and Wildlife said earlier this month that Kauffman had been mauled by a juvenile mountain lion as he was running February 4 on the West Ridge Trail. Officials had not publicly identified Kauffman at that time but said that he had fought free from the lion, managing to suffocate the young animal in self-defense.
Kauffman appeared at a news conference Thursday to tell it in his own words.
"Hey, everybody," he greeted the reporters in the room. "Just a show of hands who all is disappointed that Im not, in fact, Chuck Norris?" Read the rest of Man kills mountain lion.
Another one?
Oh, big whoop. I mean, who hasn’t?
The adrenaline rush of “fight or flight” he was under had to be insane.
Twice in one week, what are the chances?
Same guy, same place.
It takes a real man to beat off a cougar.
Private Pyle, you have definitely been born-again hard!
You are sick and twisted individual with a perverted sense of humor.
I like that in a man.
It goes a lot easier if you just submit.
If he starts claiming the lion shouted “This is MAGA country!” then I’ll start to be a little suspicious...
Old news.
LOL, I do have a perverse sense of humor, but I'm not sick and twisted in the least!
I think it all started when I was a very young man, working part-time as a stock clerk in a department store. The floor manager's name was ... and I'm not making this up ... Mr. Horny. I was hired while he was still on vacation, and the day he returned I was in the back unloading a truck. I saw him milling around, and not knowing he worked there, I asked him who he was.
"I'm Horny," he replied.
Now of course, you realize, an opportunity like this comes along about once in three or four millenia. It was a parlous thing, but I couldn't let it go. I just had to say it.
"What's the matter ... your wife got a headache?"
"Got a headache," of course, being a euphemism for something far cruder.
I lasted all of another week, before being fired on a trumped-up excuse.
Extra advice. Run with a big, fresh stick and a taser.
Oh, big whoop. I mean, who hasnt?
The dude now has manhood trump card. Oh so you did XXXX? Well I wrestled and killed a mountain lion with my bare hands.
[epic mike drop]
How did he get the lion’s hands?
Well I wrestled and killed a mountain lion with my bare hands.
[epic mike drop]
= = = = = = = = = = =
VERY OLD chestnut of a joke....
NOW, where is that lady with the thorn in her foot?
(after one the drunks 3 challenges was to pull a thorn out of the foot of the gorilla he had just DEFLOWERED)
It takes a real man to beat off a cougar.
= = = = = = = = = =
At my age (79) just how old does one have to be for me to consider her a cougar?
This guy knows which bathroom to use.
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