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Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/17/2020

Posted on 06/17/2020 12:57:04 PM PDT by DFG

When ballparks finally open again, those standing for the traditional seventh-inning stretch will be singing some different lyrics to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

After over 100 years of selling its caramel popcorn snack under the name Cracker Jack, Frito-Lay announced today that it would be rebranded as the less offensive "Caucasian Jack."

"We are very sorry to all the crack---er, I mean, Caucasians we have hurt over the years," said a spokesperson. "Cracker is an offensive stereotype, and we must make sure that all foods and snack products are culturally sensitive. Think about all the white people who have had to suffer in silence as tens of thousands of baseball fans sang out the hurtful lyrics 'Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.'"

"No more. The bigotry stops today."

The move was applauded by hurt white people, though they are still criticizing Frito-Lay for how pale and pasty-white the Cracker Jack guy is on the logo.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; caucasian; cracker; crackerjack; fritolay
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1 posted on 06/17/2020 12:57:05 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

In a similar move, the term ‘blacktop’ will be changed to ‘top of african descent’


2 posted on 06/17/2020 1:01:35 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: DFG

3 posted on 06/17/2020 1:02:48 PM PDT by Bratch (If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

And Black Friday will be changed to African American Friday...come to think about it, with the annual photos of the fist fights in shopping malls and Wal Marts on that day, that might not be a bad change.


4 posted on 06/17/2020 1:08:43 PM PDT by apillar
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To: DFG

The word “cracker” is an allowed way of demeaning Whites. It is often the last word that a White hears before he is killed by a roving pack of feral savages.


5 posted on 06/17/2020 1:09:09 PM PDT by I want the USA back (Never forget Justine Damond, murdered by a NON-WHITE, NON-CHRISTIAN cop. (Oh, and no riots))
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To: DFG

6 posted on 06/17/2020 1:12:52 PM PDT by clearcarbon
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To: DFG

Wouldn’t Racist Jack be more appropriate?


7 posted on 06/17/2020 1:16:21 PM PDT by Yogafist
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To: DFG

How about hiden Cracker Joe!!!


8 posted on 06/17/2020 1:18:03 PM PDT by ontap
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To: DFG

9 posted on 06/17/2020 1:18:33 PM PDT by maddog55
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To: DFG

About time too! If a white person calls another white person “cracker” is it still a racial slur?

(Sarcasm off)


10 posted on 06/17/2020 1:21:42 PM PDT by FormerFRLurker (Keep calm and vote your conscience.)
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To: DFG
Think about all the white people who have had to suffer...

Sob...sob...sob.

Just hearing the word 'cracker' triggers all those years of silent pain... all the tears and shame. Cracker Jack OWES all us us MORE. Money, apologies, reparations for the pain they've inflicted on us since 1896...

11 posted on 06/17/2020 1:28:36 PM PDT by GOPJ (When blacks kill each other it's called 'gun violence'. When cops kill a man it's called 'murder')
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To: DFG

LOL


12 posted on 06/17/2020 1:33:33 PM PDT by VeniVidiVici
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To: FormerFRLurker

Can we start a class action suit against the White Sox? They have made a mockery of our skin color long enough.


13 posted on 06/17/2020 1:42:04 PM PDT by TonyM (Score Event)
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To: TonyM

Probably at the same time we sue the tanning salons for telling white people our naturally pale skin is ugly and causing unprecedented levels of skin cancer in young whites...


14 posted on 06/17/2020 1:47:47 PM PDT by FormerFRLurker (Keep calm and vote your conscience.)
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To: maddog55

All dictionary references to “white” much be changed accordingly such as but not limited to:

White Paper = Caucasian Paper
White Out = Caucasian Out
White Rice = Caucasian Rice
White Sox = Caucasian Sox
White Courtesy Phone = Caucasian Courtesy Phone
White Meat = Caucasian Meat
White Wine = Caucasian Wine

Any failures to do so will result in a bunch of angry caucasians storming a city and taking over several blocks after looting all the surrounding stores.


15 posted on 06/17/2020 1:52:46 PM PDT by TonyM (Score Event)
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To: TonyM

Roy White.

16 posted on 06/17/2020 1:59:07 PM PDT by rfp1234 (Caveat Emperor)
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To: DFG
This will no longer be called "black licorice".

It will now be called "licorice of color".


17 posted on 06/17/2020 2:01:00 PM PDT by moovova
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To: DFG

Cracker Barrel?

I’ve heard it called “Honky Bucket”.


18 posted on 06/17/2020 3:04:18 PM PDT by Kriggerel ("All great truths are hard and bitter, but lies... are sweeter than wild honey" (Ragnar Redbeard))
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To: DFG

That’s the thing. Blue-eyed devil cracka honkies don’t get easily offended. I guess our melanin-lacking skin is just thicker.


19 posted on 06/17/2020 3:10:22 PM PDT by Old Yeller (Eternal live matter. Sin is the problem. Jesus is the only answer.)
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To: apillar

Blackmail will be people of color mail.


20 posted on 06/17/2020 3:11:11 PM PDT by Old Yeller (Eternal live matter. Sin is the problem. Jesus is the only answer.)
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