Posted on 07/30/2021 9:50:52 AM PDT by DFG
MACUNGIE, PA—In a rally at the Mack Truck facility in Lehigh Valley this week, President Biden boasted that he made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs back in the days when he was a hard-working interstellar freight driver.
"Yeah, these Mack Trucks are impressive, real impressive," said Biden, "but I gotta say, these are nothing compared to the Correllian light freighter I used to drive around smuggling contraband while avoiding Imperial patrols. That's no joke!"
The audience of union workers who had been forced to attend clapped politely, but seemed confused as to the meaning of Biden's odd statement.
The all-female White House communications team skillfully clarified Biden's statement the next day, saying that while Biden technically never piloted the Millenium Falcon, he did watch Star Wars once, and even rode along on the Star Wars Galaxy's Edge Millenium Falcon Ride at Disney when it first opened.
"The message we should all take away from this is that President Biden respects the hard work of our Hollywood science fiction movie makers, theme park designers, and blue-collar Mack Truck builders," they said.
Biden later began to tell the story of the time he brought balance to the force before his mic was quickly cut off.
LOL. Joe Biden can’t even pronounce those terms and probably thinks that a parsec is a kind of parsley that black people put into their collard greens.
The last line kills me. Bringing balance back to the force!
‘Parsec’ is a distance unit, not a time unit...............
In this instance I think the real thing he said about driving a truck was funnier than this satire.
George Lucas is no scientist.
ROFLMAO.
Meanwhile Hunter denied he had a thing for his sister Ashley, saying they didn’t realize they shared the same father.
/joking
And then he told the President of Mon Cala to fire Admiral Ackbar - “I’m getting on a Neimoidian Shuttle in 6 hours and If Ackbar isn’t fired, you ain’t getting the $1 Billion,” and son-of-a-bitch, he got fired
A parsec is a measure of distance. This has been pointed out for years. And one of the movies explained how this was attained—evidently the distance from here to Kessel is not a straight line.
-PJ
His infrastructure bill costs 7,386,000 Quataloos. A deal in any quadrant of this galaxy.
The real question is, did Biden Solo shoot first?
Peach
Was that before or after he mentioned that he ran longhorns down in Zaragoza?
Lordy, I was just laughing at what totally brilliant geeks the people over at the Babylon Bee are, and you go and (accidentally?) one up 'em. Bravo, Sir, bravo.
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