This cover from my AF days.
Posted on 05/16/2023 3:37:03 PM PDT by DFG
SUNDERLAND, MD — After catching his teenage son looking at pornography, local father Daniel Gouge sat his son down for a heart-to-heart talk before meting out justice by giving him a copy of the latest swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, which features Martha Stewart on the cover.
"Son, women are not objects," Gouge said. "And I'm afraid the only way to help you understand that is by showing you Martha Stewart in a saucy bikini."
He added, "Look at her, son. She's 81. Older than grandma."
"Ugh, Dad! No! My punishment is too great to bear!" the 14-year-old reportedly cried out in despair. "Please don't make me look at Martha Stewart in a swimsuit! PLEASE!" Unfortunately for him, the matter had been settled by both his father and the cultural zeitgeist currently sweeping America.
Gouge left his son alone with the magazine to "think about what he had done."
At publishing time, Gouge had threatened his son that if it happens again, he will make him read a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalog featuring Megan Rapinoe.
Eeewwwww.
They just put some 80 year old ex-con on the cover. Fatsos had their 15 mins. Now it’s time for Auntie Climax.
How ‘bout a nekkid Hillary Clinton, or, Rosa Delauro?
One look at the issue featuring Lizzo would scwr the boy for life.
No, that would be an 8th amendment violation
I agree it’s disgusting. Not as in trans disgusting just gross.
I’m not a young man anymore but dammit some things will never change. One of which is a 19 year old is reproductively fertile and a healthy one will have signs all over her from Mother Nature announcing so. These signs are what we call beauty and sex appeal.
Not an 80 year old geriatric..the only reason why I wouldn’t classify Stewart’s photos as pornographic is because they have clothing covering about 85% of her wrinkled skin. What’s left makes my gag reflex want to kick in.
You can’t fool Mother Nature.
Well, it was a ‘process crime’ with the FBI.
Given FBI’s abuse of that & recent behavior I am much more sympathetic to her than I normally would be.
You should get the Zot for even suggesting a nekkid Hillary Rotten Clinton.
She probably has a tattoo for every death she’s responsible for.
I expect he’s holding back Helen Thomas in case the young whippersnapper doesn’t mind his pees and qus? He could finish him off with DiFi?
That’s from back when women were women and women were women.
“One look at the issue featuring Lizzo would scwr the boy for life.”
Lizzo says her body is beautiful, and if you were not so contaminated with the white supremacist concept of lookism, you would really appreciate all of her curves. (ahem.)
That's cruel and unusual punishment!!
Thanks Bee for the laugh...
“Remember, son, if you find women’s secondary sexual characteristics attractive, that means you are inherently defective.”
Not even a crime if she was in congress.
True!
I don’t know what she was wearing, but it sure needed ironing!
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