Posted on 09/22/2023 12:37:47 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a gracious move of bipartisanship, the Senate voted to relax rules to allow their freshman Senator Jabba The Fetterman to take a bath in the reflecting pool.
The rules were immediately relaxed after the Senator from Transylvania described how he would fall into a deep depression were he to not be allowed to bathe naked in the reflecting pool.
"We wouldn't want our young friend to feel uncomfortable in any way," said Senator Mitch McConnell over the span of 45 minutes. "Besides, it would be good for the American people to see what the daily life of their elected representatives is like."
Below is a list of other allowances given to Mr. Fettermanstein over the past few days:
Bringing in the world's best tailor for a custom loincloth fitting.
Senate floor toilet installed so he doesn't have to get up to go poop.
Fettermoog is allowed to park his RV in the Capitol driveway as long as he needs.
Bra optional.
At publishing time, the Senate had voted unanimously to allow Fetterman to climb the Capitol Rotunda with a maiden in-hand to swing at airplanes.
At this point we’re lucky that he doesn’t roll up to the senate floor in his pajamas and crocs. He probably still thinks he’s in the mental hospital. Come to think of it, he’d be right in a way
When Fetterman’s not in a Senate session he can be found out on the blvd begging passers by for spare change.
Festerman. Owner of an abbie normal pea brain.
Fetterman: the lowest common denominator.
Democrats are willing to lower the whole senate to reside in the sewer, just to appease Fetterman.
This assumes that he even takes baths....
You appear to be mistaken. They are already sewer dwellers.
Wait. Whut? He bathes?
Lol.
CNN Fact Check
Conclusion: FALSE
Our research has determined that Fetterman doesn’t even take baths.
He could be a brother to Bo Bo and Lil Devil n “Nothing But Trouble”
He doesn’t bathe
no thongs
please
FetterMEN not Fetteman.
No kidding. 😂
I’m thinking “Toga” next, and a comfy ‘lectus’ to recline on as senate pages feed him grapes while he is ostrich feathered fanned by a Nubian slave.
Damn! A pay phone.
-PJ
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