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'We Cannot Be Associated With Elon Musk,' Says Tim Cook While Shaking Hands With Brutal Chinese Dictator
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/17/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/17/2023 3:24:24 PM PST by DFG

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Amid charges that Elon Musk's social media app "X" has become a dangerous breeding ground for speech Communists don't like, Apple CEO Tim Cook has elected to pull all Apple advertising from the platform.

"I refuse to allow my morally pristine corporation to be associated with disreputable characters like Elon Musk," said Cook while shaking the hand of murderous communist dictator Xi Jinping at this week's APEC Dinner. "Plus, the ADL, ACLU, and WEF told me I had to pull my ads or they'd break the story about what I did on Epstein Island. We can't have that."

Sources confirmed Cook had a lengthy discussion with the cruel tyrant who runs the slave state of Communist China, including how they can produce more iPhones with the same number of Uyghur slaves without too many of them dying. "At Apple, we are willing to make the hard, yet moral choices," he said. "In this case, the clear moral choice is to attempt to destroy the only mainstream social media platform not controlled by China. I mean, I have to. Or the pictures will get sent to the Washington Post."

Mother Nature, the vengeful pagan god presiding over Apple's climate change mitigation efforts, applauded the move. "I want fewer people on the planet," she said. "And Elon Musk wants more people on the planet. He must be eliminated."

At publishing time, Cook had moved his advertising dollars over to Facebook, which is currently the preferred platform for organizing "Kill the Jews" rallies around the world.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: apple; babylonbee; california; chrischristie; connecticut; cook; cupertino; musk; newjersey; oakland; richardblumenthal; sanfrancisco; xi

1 posted on 11/17/2023 3:24:24 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

I read it twice...then saw it....BZZZZZZ


2 posted on 11/17/2023 3:25:54 PM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: Sacajaweau

Same here. I got stung again.


3 posted on 11/17/2023 3:27:08 PM PST by gitmo (If your biography doesn't match your theology, what good is it?)
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To: Sacajaweau

damn the BEE...


4 posted on 11/17/2023 3:32:31 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: DFG

Ouch, that stung lol


5 posted on 11/17/2023 3:33:27 PM PST by Az Joe (Live free or die)
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To: Az Joe

Pass the meat tenderizer


6 posted on 11/17/2023 3:35:22 PM PST by griswold3 (I cannot change the Tide but I can learn to Sail)
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To: DFG
"Plus, the ADL, ACLU, and WEF told me I had to pull my ads or they'd break the story about what I did on Epstein Island.

Bee pulls its punches.

If Epstein Island were run by anyone, it was Mossad, not the ADL, etc. Mossad had the resources, blackmail is part of their M.O., and Giselle Maxwell's father, Robert, was a well known, high level Mossad asset.

But the Bee dare not point a finger at Israel.

7 posted on 11/17/2023 3:38:42 PM PST by Angelino97
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To: DFG

Timmy has dropped his nuts.


8 posted on 11/17/2023 3:38:44 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer ('Build Back Better' is a Bidenskyyyyyyism for 'we gotta get rid of all dem white peoples'.)
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To: DFG

Got stung by the Bee!
Great satire!!!


9 posted on 11/17/2023 3:39:06 PM PST by RedMonqey ("A republic, if you can keep it" Benjam Franklin.)
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To: DFG

That Tim Cook is a Gay Blade tells me why his is such a demonic Mephistopheles. His actions like taking down HKMaps tells me he walks with a full load wherever he may be.


10 posted on 11/17/2023 3:46:31 PM PST by jonrick46 (Leftniks chase illusions of motherships at the end of the pier.)
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To: DFG

I recently wrote:

“In other news top American executives cheered a speech given by a man Joe Biden called a dictator.”

It is sad for ordinary Americans that the CEOs would feel compelled to do so.


11 posted on 11/17/2023 3:47:41 PM PST by Brian Griffin
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To: jonrick46

Tim Cook knows why Biden said what he said.


12 posted on 11/17/2023 3:50:50 PM PST by Brian Griffin
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To: Brian Griffin

Many CEOs love dictators. They have more stable markets. Sure the economic activity is lower but that controlled economy means controlled profits. They loved Hitler and Mussolini. Why not Xi?


13 posted on 11/17/2023 4:17:55 PM PST by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: DFG

They got me. It seemed so real. I read 3/4 of the paragraph before I realized it was the Bee...


14 posted on 11/17/2023 4:23:00 PM PST by marktwain
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To: DFG

Tim Cook is a disgrace! He’s a hypocritical a$$hole. Has he apologized for supporting antisemitic BLM? Has he apologized for donating to the terrorist supporting Southern Poverty Law Center?


15 posted on 11/17/2023 4:33:15 PM PST by Chgogal (Welcome to Fuhrer Biden's Weaponized Fascist Banana Republic! It's the road to hell)
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To: Angelino97

We don’t know for sure if Jeffrey Epstein was a Mossad asset, a CIA asset or perhaps worked for both intelligence services.
We do know Jeffrey Epstein was an asset until he wasn’t.
His death ( murder, perhaps) occurred in a New York prison. He was supposedly under constant surveillance, though the security cameras were not working, and Mr. Epstein was under the watchful eyes of two sleeping prison guards.
Bill Barr was the U.S. attorney general whose father employed a youthful Jeffrey Epstein while headmaster of the toney Dalton school. Federal Prisons are under the perview of the Attorney General.
Dead men tell no tales. The FBI has the entirety of Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘blackmail’ tapes and plane logs and client lists. Why are the many prominent John’s protected by the U.S. Government?


16 posted on 11/17/2023 4:46:41 PM PST by Yolanda (Jussie Smollett hoax )
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To: DFG

Getting tough to tell the difference between The Bee and hard news.

.

“”On October 30, Cook publicly came out as gay in an editorial for Bloomberg Business, saying, “I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.””

.

Someone should try to advise little Timmy getting banged in the butt is NOT a “gift from God.”

Makes me wonder what is really going on over at apple having a queer CEO for 12 years.

.


17 posted on 11/17/2023 5:00:33 PM PST by TLI (ITINERIS IMPENDEO VALHALLA)
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To: DFG

Way to close to the truth to be satire, eat your heart out CNN.


18 posted on 11/17/2023 5:21:19 PM PST by eyeamok
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To: DFG

Sad that I thought it could have been real.


19 posted on 11/17/2023 5:34:22 PM PST by Socon-Econ (adi)
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