Posted on 09/04/2004 8:51:52 AM PDT by RossA
North Carolina Court Elects Kerry Twice (Reuters)
In a surprise verdict in Kannapolis, N.C., in the case of J. F. Kerry vs. the United States, a jury decided that the plaintiff was a victim of PTVSS or Post-Traumatic-Vietnam-Stress-Syndrome...
In a surprise verdict in Kannapolis, N.C., in the case of J. F. Kerry vs. the United States, a jury decided that the plaintiff was a victim of PTVSS or Post-Traumatic-Vietnam-Stress-Syndrome, and that, as both compensation and the first steps in his treatment, he is to be appointed President of the United States for a period of not less than 8 years to end when a specially appointed team of psychiatrists agree that he is again sane.
This decision will cancel the much-anticipated 2004 and 2008 Presidential elections. In a related decision, the jury also awarded President-elect Kerry $10,000,000 for a stubborn fungus infection contracted in Cambodia on or about Christmas 1968.
Kerrys lawyer requested and was awarded a special fee of $100,000,000 for his brilliant work on this case. When asked how he could justify such a fee for less than one months work, his lawyer and now Vice-President-elect, John Edwards, replied that it was a pittance compared to the cost of a 2008 Presidential election which he had just saved the country.
President for 8 years? He could always be given this guys position.
http://www.notfrisco.com/nortoniana/
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.