To: COUNTrecount
If you are traveling in a space ship at the speed of light and turn on your headlamps, will they do anything?
I met this beautiful, blond... Chinese chick. She was on her way to see her psychologist because she suffered from depression. Her problem was that she was a nymphomaniac who only went for Jewish cowboys. I said, "Hi, I'm Bucky Goldstein."
2 posted on
03/24/2005 5:44:00 AM PST by
KidGlock
(Get in the pit and try to love some one)
To: COUNTrecount
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. Actually is should be "a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
3 posted on
03/24/2005 5:46:55 AM PST by
cowboyway
(My heroes have always been cowboys.)
To: COUNTrecount
Someone broke into my house, stole all the furniture, and replaced it with exact replicas.
To: COUNTrecount
Complaint: If you are going to post something this funny, please do it in the evening, after work. It's really hard to stiffle multiple guffaws in a cubicle!
6 posted on
03/24/2005 6:03:17 AM PST by
Captain Rhino
("If you will just abandon logic, these things will make a lot more sense to you!")
To: COUNTrecount; Tijeras_Slim; Constitution Day; DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet
I couldn't find my shoes. Looked everywhere for 'em.
So I called Information. I said, "I can't find my shoes."
The lady said, "They're under the couch."
And they were.
To: COUNTrecount
"Steven Wright Quotes" What is strange about Steven Wright is I can't identify his type of humor but if I see a quote by him that isn't attributed to him I still know it is by him.
I love listening to him.
13 posted on
03/24/2005 6:55:43 AM PST by
Mad Dawgg
("`Eddies,' said Ford, `in the space-time continuum.' `Ah,' nodded Arthur, `is he? Is he?'")
To: COUNTrecount
My high school colors were clear.
MY all time favorite comedian! Saw him once in person and he sat in an overstuffed chair most of the performance.
To: COUNTrecount
I put instant coffe in the microwave and went back in time.
17 posted on
03/24/2005 8:35:03 AM PST by
freedomson
(Tagline comment removed by moderator)
To: COUNTrecount
These are great.
BTTT so I can find them later.
I just wish I could remember 1/2 of these.
To: COUNTrecount
Steven Wright...I thought he was funny one time...turns out he was merely ironic...but in a funny way.
20 posted on
03/24/2005 8:14:51 PM PST by
Khurkris
(This tagline is available on CD ROM)
To: COUNTrecount
21 posted on
03/24/2005 10:00:32 PM PST by
chaosagent
(It's all right to be crazy. Just don't let it drive you nuts.)
To: COUNTrecount
22 posted on
03/25/2005 12:10:36 PM PST by
melbell
(A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing, and say your mother)
To: cyborg; arasina; fortunecookie
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
23 posted on
03/25/2005 12:24:20 PM PST by
Petronski
(If Reichskanzler Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
To: COUNTrecount
To: COUNTrecount
Imagine a world where there were no hypothetical questions.
26 posted on
03/28/2005 11:49:52 AM PST by
bruin66
(Time: Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.)
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