Posted on 04/25/2006 1:46:54 PM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran
Headlines from the year 2029!
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.=20
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter spe= ed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
President Nonliberal nukes Mexico for Fourth of July fireworks display.
Social Security raises retirement age to 125 to "stabilize system".
Chicago Cubs still looking for World Series Win.
700 billionth time email titled "headlines from the year 2029" is posted at Free Republic. :P
Thank You poster Czar
O.J. still looking for wife's killer......
Surfers encounter 20 foot waves off the Rocky Mountain coastline...
Bin Laden Named New American Idol Judge
Researchers say New Orleans is now 100" below sea level but the levees are sufficient to protect the 5 people who live there.
To lessen prison populations, the U.S. declares all legal activities illegal and illegal activities legal. Twelve million illegal aliens cannot find jobs because most Americans now live behind bars and do not need gardeners.
Republicans and Democrats fight over whether to call the new political party the Republicrats or the Demoblicans. The Constitutional, Libertarian, and Green Parties still pull in 2% of the voters.
Texas uses emminent domain to pave the entire state to make room for its new Trans Taxes Corridor.
GM together with Ford build a 20-ton SUV with a fuel-injected V14 and offer lifetime health benefits to the children and grandchildren of retirees.
Massachusetts suffers a 4.2 earthquake when the tractor/loader carrying the late Senator Kennedy's coffin to its final resting place blows a tire.
La Oficina de la Gente de Discurso Inglesa Estableció
Democrats blame election losses on not getting their message out.
Scientists predict that the cure for diabetes is only 5-10 years away.
Scientists predict Hydrogen vehicles coming in "near future".
Scientology sweeps middle East!
"El Ron Al Hbbard has shown the way!" say faithful.
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