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MORFORD: Please Try My Dating Service
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/30/6 | Mark Morford

Posted on 06/30/2006 7:50:56 AM PDT by SmithL

It is not for Republicans. It is not for bow hunters. Also, no cat hoarders. Sign up now!

Match.com does not allow cleavage.

This much I learned from a female friend who used the enormous online dating service during a brief glitch in her dating career, and for whom I helped prepare the most modest of pix (waist up, cowboy hat, big smile, snug halter top, faintest sliver of shadow between breasts), only to have the photo immediately nixed by the site's apparently pallid and secretly Mormon editors who actively disallow even the slightest hint of flesh or pillow talk or any mention of one's personal skill at drizzling Grand Marnier over a potential lover's tailbone. This is, obviously, a major drawback.

Nerve.com's personals used to be a major player. Precedent-setting, clever questionnaire, hip crowd. You could discuss sex. You could describe salacious proclivities, drugs, the crap lying around your bedroom. There was actual heat, cleverness, personality.

In fact, Nerve Personals did so well they sold the whole thing to some massive national service not long ago and it immediately got sucked into a vortex of horrible design and mediocre verbiage and was crossbred with a thousand other tepid, unhip dating sites and it instantly lost roughly 82 percent of its coolness, and now appears to be Match.com for easily drunk twentysomethings who've been to Burning Man once and read a lot of David Sedaris and really, really like cats.

So then. It has come to my attention that there is a lack. A need. Readers have alerted me to the notion that perhaps I should launch an entirely new dating service based on, well, based on who really loves reading this very column.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: missmorford; morford; morfordite; sancramcrisco; sandinvagina; sodom
Morfordite Alert

`nuf said

1 posted on 06/30/2006 7:50:56 AM PDT by SmithL
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To: SmithL

Actually, this is a really good idea that Miss Morford has. Knowing where he is (San Cramcrisco) and who his "target audience" is, there's a pretty good chance that the Feds could use the Morford Dating Service as its own sex offender registry, thus saving the taxpayers money.

Oh, and it's nice to see he got the whole drizzling-some-food-substance-on-the-tailbone thing in yet another article.

}:-)4


2 posted on 06/30/2006 8:01:17 AM PDT by Moose4 (Dirka dirka Mohammed jihad.)
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To: SmithL

Well, I have to admit that this is more than I expected from Morford. I figured Morford's idea of a dating service would be the "glory hole" down at the Adult Book Store.


3 posted on 06/30/2006 8:04:16 AM PDT by Southside_Chicago_Republican (The moving finger writes and, having writ, moves on......)
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To: SmithL
Internet dating is a wonderful adverse selection engine which attracts excessively narcissistic people in extraordinary numbers.

Morford is a natural to run such a site. ;)

4 posted on 06/30/2006 8:06:39 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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