Total vanity: What would you do?

[AUJenn]

This is completely a vanity, so if you are not interested, please no rude comments and just continue on by.

I have a situation that I would like some fellow freeper/conservative opinions and thoughts on. I am an adult, but I have a large family and several much-younger siblings. My youngest brother is 13 years old. He has invited me to be his friend on MySpace. (I recently joined to keep up with old college friends and occasionally use it. My site's pretty dull, haha).

However, I was browing his site and was very concerned about some of the content. There are many references to him drinking, smoking, some pretty crass language and other mature topics. I am by no means some boring prude or tattle , but I feel that he has no business being involved in some of this at 13 years old.

My thoughts are that perhaps this is a joke, or he is just trying to appear older or "cool" to other kids. Maybe it is just some kind of inside joke that I don't get. Maybe he is running with a bad crowd and has some secrets that the family is not aware of.

My brother adores my husband and they get along very well...I told my husband about this and he is concerned. My dilemma is should I bring this to my parents' attention? I feel so ridiculous as a grown woman even asking this, but I don't want to misstep here and be way off. Should my husband have a conversation with my brother about the content of the web site?

Has any fellow freeper had an issue like this? Any suggestions would be helpful.

[presidio9]

My dilemma is should I bring this to my parents' attention?

Of course you should. What is wrong with you?

[ContemptofCourt]

You could talk to him about how inappropriate his site is, and then tell him that you will pass on the site addy to your parents at the end of the week....this way he can make a good choice and clean up his site, and take some positive guidance from you.

[oldleft]

I wouldn't let a 13 year use myspace. Period. There's way too much bad that the little bit of good from it doesn't even matter.

[cgk]

Freepmail.

[Paradox]

MySPace is a sh*thole, but besides that, yes, tell your parents. The kid is 13, he has no adult "rights". In fact, even if he was 18 but still living at home, I'd tell you to still tell your parents...

Having said that, you might want to talk it over with him first, MOST of the stuff of MySpace is pure BS. Chest thumping, typical boy-exageration of "whose is bigger".

[Sloth]

Well, he can't really complain if you (or your husband) bring it up, since he effectively invited you to peruse his myspace page. Crass language, etc., is pretty typical for a 13-year-old boy who is within a circle of similarly aged boys... but the drinking is certainly something that needs to be dealt with.

[Alberta's Child]

You might want to do a little research/investigating on your own just to see how much of what he says might actually be true. Then I would do what ContemptofCourt suggested.

The fact that he let you in on something that you recognize as totally inappropriate tells me he's operating under a completely different set of cultural norms than you are. This is probably the biggest issue of all, from my standpoint.

[AUJenn]

I am starting to agree with you. I used to think it was silly for people to want to regulate sites like this, but the more I see of the garbage that kids are putting on here, the more I am concerned. I am sure my parents have no clue about the site...they probably just think he is using the computer for homework. I think if some parents saw what their sweet little 13-year-old girl or boy is writing, they'd be pretty shocked.

[fml]

Of course you should. What is wrong with you?
_____________________________________

Worth repeating!!!

[1rudeboy]

That, plus a few press-clippings (about MySpace creeps and how schools/potential employers check accounts) should do the trick.

[texan75010]

I have a niece who portrays herself as black....I have another neice who says she is EMO...neither is true...my step daughter says she grew up in a ghetto....please.....seems like no one tells the truth about themselves on myspace...

I have gotten calls about the content on my step daughters space....more laughter than concern....but I didnt mind....

[mtbopfuyn]

That site is nothing but filth. Run, don't walk, to your parents right now. A 13 year old has no business on such a site. My teens aren't allowed to get accounts and after looking around they concur with me.

However, after telling your parents your little brother should NEVER be allowed on it, they should check out some of his classmates' pages now and then to make sure he's not running with the wrong crowd or choosing the wrong girlfriend.

[HOTTIEBOY]

My 13yo doesn't get on the computer. ,She has no idea how to open these interwebs much less make her own space. She ASKS me if she can do something on the computer. Then I am THERE. WATCHING HER.

She is outside playing, like 13yo are supposed to do. Not on the puter, talking to total strangers while I sleep on the couch.

[fatboynic]

I would first find out if he was joking/lying and then proceed. If he is just messin around trying to "appear" grown, I would deal only with him...encouraging him that it is not necessary to appear this way just to be cool.

However, if this way of living is true, I would probably go to parents after FIRST attempting to encourage him away from this lifestyle...

[RedCell]

Have you considered pulling him aside and having a one-on-one with him? That would allow him the opportunity to "save face" without getting your parents involved.

Knowing what I know now, I would be all over this like white (or brown, depending on your preference) on rice. The last thing you want to see is this escalate to something really serious.

For instance, my niece was involved with a boy and they got busted for pot possession (they were both under 16). Over time, it got to the point where some more serious drugs were involved. Well, guess what... the boy is dead now due to an overdose. I didn't do enough when the signs were hitting me over the head and I'd hate to see anyone else go through that, especially if they have an opportunity to step in and do the right thing. There's nothing worse than going through the woulda-coulda-shoulda stuff when it comes to your family or friends.

Ok, off my soap box. Just my 2 cents. Take it for what it's worth.

[CindyDawg]

Assuming this is for real...I would talk to him and let him know you are going to discuss with "mom and dad". If he didn't want yall to know, he wouldn't have invited you. It may not be the case here but sometimes kids will do stuff like this to get out of uncomfortable situations . It's a save face to your peers to say, "I got busted. My sister ratted on me and now my parents won't let me on".

[oldleft]

Don't get me wrong, myspace is a great site (I even post a blog there), but it's not appropriate for anyone under 18 IMHO.

[HOTTIEBOY]

I would say that you absolutely SHOULD tell the parents.

But then I don't know if it would do any good. Afterall, it seems to me, that if the parents cared, they would already know what the kid is doing because they would be right there, watching.

[CindyDawg]

Your momma know you are here? :')