The Three Vehicles of Deception

M E R I D I A N M A G A Z I N E ^ | March 2007 | By Richard Eyre

[restornu]

Publisher's note: Perhaps the three most pursued and coveted things in our modern world are control, ownership, and independence. In Richard Eyre's mind, they are the three deceivers — and are ultimately both unobtainable and undesirable. They are, Eyre believes, the "false gods" that separate us from Heavenly Father and rob us of the things of the spirit. This column, exploring the obsessions we have developed with “CO&I”, and outlining a better and more spiritual alternative for each, will open you to a new world of thinking that may change how you live. Richard welcomes your feedback and inputs. Write to him at Richard@meridianmagazine.com . If you missed any of the three earlier columns in this series, you can click here to go to the Deceivers Archive and catch up.

Today's column is about three particular ways that we get deceived and carried away into the pursuit of CO&I — three vehicles that can confuse us and that we are particularly susceptible to. These three vehicles are appearances, media, and false paradigms . Let me start with an overview of each and then follow up with a deeper explanation:

How Appearances Deceive

Everyone wants to look good to others. However, the world's benchmarks of “looking good” have everything to do with control, ownership and independence — and nothing to do with the way the Lord sees us. Everyone around us is striving to adhere to the same accepted but unexamined standards of CO&I — trying to magnify the appearance of how well they are doing in their pursuit of these three idols. And thus we deceive each other regularly and consistently.

How Media Deceive

Like previous generations, we see the world around us through the rectangular glass windows in our houses. The difference is that now we turn those windows on and off with a switch.

Television and motion pictures present stories that come to tidy conclusions within the allotted time period. The actors in those stories exude attractiveness, confidence, wealth and ease that are not usually part of the human condition.

Another fallacy presented by the media is that consequences of immoral or even illegal actions are hidden or ignored. As we see these scenarios presented over and over again, virtual reality becomes more real to us than real reality.

How False Paradigms Deceive

Five hundred years ago, it was easy to believe the world was flat. Anything that is universally assumed becomes a powerful influencer of our goals, our priorities and our loves — even if it is false. A frame makes a great deal of difference as to how the picture looks within it, and this is as true in real life as it is for the pictures that are hanging on the wall.

False paradigms are the frames, and they start innocently, often by applying one narrow thinking model a little too broadly…then media and societal norms feed them until they turn into monsters.

Appearances

We live in a world where appearances seem to be the main reality. And in our effort to look good to others, we get a little too caught up with the questions of how and where and who and when, and thus forget to ask ourselves "why?" We worry about how to make more money and get more independence, where the most prestigious place to live is, who are the people to know and be seen with, and when we will finally gain full control of our lives. Instead, we should be asking ourselves why we really want these things and what we may have to sacrifice to get them.

Appearances deceive us because others around us, both the real people (people who interact with us) and the media people (our cyber neighbors or sitcom characters) always look and act like everything is going great for them. They have a lot of things we want and they seem to be very happy because of them. Their lives look a little (or a lot) more in control than our own lives feel, and they don't seem to have to depend on anyone but themselves.

What we don't always realize is that we look much the same to our neighbors. The deceptive mirror works both ways and we unwittingly deceive each other by appearing to be better than we really are. Essentially, others are putting on appearances to impress us, and we are putting on appearances to impress them. In this cause, we are all succeeding (and deceiving).

Media

All of this is especially true (exaggeratedly true) in media (on TV, in movies, and so on). Sitcoms try to show regular life, but by the end of the half hour, problems are solved, relationships resolved, and the slate is clean. In real life, of course, it is never that easy.

There are two parts to the media deception. One is the entertainment itself — the programs and dramas and even the talk shows and game shows — and the unrealistic, materialistic, and self-centered view of life they give us. Two is the advertising. Let's take the second one first:

A good friend of mine, the CEO of a giant New York Advertising Agency (and an unusually candid person, particularly for his industry) told me his personal definition of "advertising." It is "The fine art of making people think they need what they really only want." He also told me that the average American sees (or hears) more than 400 advertising impressions each day! Little wonder we think we need more stuff, newer stuff, better stuff — and think we need to be more independent and more in control.

And the entertainment part is just as big a deceiver. Doesn't everyone you see in movies or on TV seem to have more than you do, and obtain it easier, and seem more in charge of whom they are and where they are going? It's all make-believe and illusions, but it seems pretty real — especially with as much TV, movies, and other entertainment as we see.

It is hard in this connected, media-dominated world, to think for ourselves. Again, the important question that we should all ask more often is "why?" Why do I want what I want? Why do I think I should have to control everything? Why do I want to have more, or at least as much as someone else, and why do I feel the need to be independent of that someone else? If we ask "the deep why question" we begin to realize that the honest answers have to do with envy and want and greed rather than with need, and that the connections to happiness are assumptions and lies.

Focus on that last statement for a minute — "the connections to happiness are assumptions and lies." Media lead us to the unexamined assumption that owning more and better things will make us happier, that controlling more of our lives and being more independent and less needful of others will give us more happiness. Deep down though, we know that the implied and assumed connections are false, and that the real connections to happiness lie more with things like commitment, relationships, interdependence, sharing, delayed gratification, appreciation, and faith.

False Paradigms

A “paradigm” is a viewpoint or inner framework for what we think is reality. This is what all the media and appearances lead us to, isn't it — a false paradigm, a collection of unrealistic and incorrect views of reality, assumed connections, wrong world-views. And the problem is that the false paradigm itself becomes the biggest deceiver of all. Because once our view or perspective of something is accepted, even subconsciously, it becomes a filter through which we observe and see everything.

False paradigms don't become true when we accept them, but they become highly influential of our lives, our behavior, our priorities, and our thoughts. Once I accept the paradigm that "I would be happier if I owned more stuff, and better stuff," my actions and my whole thought process begins to be governed by the pursuit of more and better stuff. Once I accept the paradigm that "cool people are independent and in control," I start hating myself for needing and being dependent on others or for not being able to control my life well enough to get everything checked off of my list every day.

If you think the world is flat, you are going to make some bad navigation decisions and become increasingly frustrated. If you think happiness depends on control, ownership, and independence, you are going to make some bad prioritizing decisions and become increasingly frustrated. Once you correct your paradigm to "round" you will get back on course to your nautical destination. Once you correct your paradigm from CO&I to the Three Alternatives, you will get back on course to your destination of a happy life.

To take a guess on what The Three Alternatives are, or to express your ideas or feedback, write to Richard@meridianmagazine.com As you make your own search for the Three Alternative, or as you send them in to me, remember that they must preserve all of the good aspects of CO&I (initiative, discipline, and so on) but eliminate all of the negative aspects (judgment, jealousy, conceit, presumption, envy, covetousness, and other deceiving and damaging qualities). The three Alternatives must draw us closer to God rather than distancing us from Him.

[Cedar]

"Like previous generations, we see the world around us through the rectangular glass windows in our houses. The difference is that now we turn those windows on and off with a switch."

Above quote is sad, but true.

Interesting article, thanks for posting.