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MORFORD: Rejoice, The Hummer Is Dead
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/23/7 | Mark Morford

Posted on 05/23/2007 7:48:43 AM PDT by SmithL

It might be the end of the world's most phallically sad SUV. But has the damage been done?

The late Rev. Jerry Falwell? He was exactly like a Hummer H2. Oh yes he was. Bloated, arrogant, offensive to millions and deeply wrong in a thousand ways and yet blindly worshipped by a shockingly large and happily uninformed throng of devout minions for no other reason than he was, well, bloated, arrogant and wrong.

Is that too harsh? Lacking in prudent subtlety? I'm completely OK with that.

See, it is time for much rejoicing. It is time for an upraising of hands and a hallelujah and a praise be to the heavens despite how, of course, the heavens don't really exist.

No, not for the death of Falwell, for that would be pointless and in poor taste and besides, the ever-acerbic Christopher Hitchens did it much better over at Slate. And as I pointed out last week, Falwell's own collection of (in)famous quotes do a far better job of revealing the man's true nature and worth to humanity than any sort of carefully articulated, cheerful celebration of his demise ever could.

No, this minor offering of joy is for the imminent and forthcoming death of the Hummer H2 itself. Oh my yes.

See, sales of this particular model -- perhaps the most idiotic consumer vehicle ever produced in your lifetime -- are down. Way down, a full 27 percent from last year alone, which was already way down 22 percent from the year prior, with sales continuing to plummet as fast as gas prices are rising and Bush's war is raging and Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank...

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: cultureofdeath; environmentalist; flaminglibs; hate; hatefilledlefty; hatefilledpervert; liberals; morfordite; suv; wacko
Morfordite Alert!

`nuf said

1 posted on 05/23/2007 7:48:44 AM PDT by SmithL
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To: SmithL

Don’t worry. We know the Hummer will never be dead as long as Miss Morford is around.

*cough*

}:-)4


2 posted on 05/23/2007 7:56:54 AM PDT by Moose4 (Deport 'em. I don't need landscaping and I'll pay more for lettuce.)
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To: SmithL
Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank...

OK. Econ 101. Price of gas goes up, demand for fuel inefficient cars goes down. So market economics has given Morford what he wants. Can I assume that he won't be whining about the price of gas for the rest of the summer?

3 posted on 05/23/2007 7:57:25 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: SmithL

I wonder if it ever occurred to him that this is simply market forces at work, and nothing so philisophically earth shattering...

The same capitalist market forces that libreals rail against so much, end up doing exactly what they like.

Gas prices go up- 8MPG vehicle sales go down. no biggie, and so easily understood, if they had the abilitiy to learn.

Get a life Morford... it is mentally ill to be so worked up over a vehicle


4 posted on 05/23/2007 7:57:59 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help)
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To: Mr. K

Wish they offered a V8 in the H-3, I’d be all over it.


5 posted on 05/23/2007 8:08:42 AM PDT by Graycliff (Long haired freaky people, need not apply.)
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To: Graycliff
Wish they offered a V8 in the H-3, I’d be all over it.

Drop one in yourself. A crated LT-1 will go for a couple of grand. A junkyard 350 for under $1k plus rebuild costs.

6 posted on 05/23/2007 8:19:37 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: SmithL

If Morford could just write a little better, he’d be a shoe-in for an appointment to the Federal Bench.


7 posted on 05/23/2007 8:33:20 AM PDT by VR-21
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To: The_Victor

Would that Colorado transmission and rear end take the torque and horse power?


8 posted on 05/23/2007 8:53:42 AM PDT by Graycliff (Long haired freaky people, need not apply.)
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To: Graycliff
Would that Colorado transmission and rear end take the torque and horse power?

Maybe. My understanding of the H2/3 series is that they went to same drive train as the other GM SUVs, but we'd need to check the specs. I would expect the diff and rear end would be OK. If it's four wheel gearing the front CV joints might have trouble with the torque. Don't know about the tranny.

9 posted on 05/23/2007 9:00:23 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: Graycliff

It’s a corporate rear end, but you would have to change out the transmission (it comes with the “6cyl” version of the transmission, which has fewer discs in it) for the V8 version.


10 posted on 05/23/2007 9:03:59 AM PDT by Spktyr (Overwhelmingly superior firepower and the willingness to use it is the only proven peace solution.)
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To: SmithL
Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank

Only the really dumb ones...like your peers.

11 posted on 05/23/2007 9:42:24 AM PDT by Niteranger68 (If amnesty passes, I will be discriminating against all Mexicans.)
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To: Graycliff; The_Victor; Spktyr
Wish they offered a V8 in the H-3, I’d be all over it.

Kinda interested m'self. Then, low and behold..

Exclusive Details on the new H3 Alpha Yesterday we told you about the Hummer H3 Alpha to be revealed at the New York auto show. The big news? It will finally get the V8 engine. More specifically, the 295-hp, 5.3-liter V8.

Read about it HERE

12 posted on 05/23/2007 10:04:11 AM PDT by GoldCountryRedneck ("The American Indians found out what happens when you don't control immigration."- unknown)
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To: GoldCountryRedneck

Yup. The truck really needs it.

Though - it might have done better with the Vortec 4200.

And that said, while this is a good idea, one can’t help but notice that GM’s current answer to “slow sales” is to throw the 5.3L V8 at the vehicle - see Impala, see Trailblazer.


13 posted on 05/23/2007 10:09:33 AM PDT by Spktyr (Overwhelmingly superior firepower and the willingness to use it is the only proven peace solution.)
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To: GoldCountryRedneck

Ask and ye shall receive, thanks for the link.


14 posted on 05/23/2007 10:59:37 AM PDT by Graycliff (Long haired freaky people, need not apply.)
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To: SmithL
Don't worry Morfie.

The way you are going, you will never see Rev. Falwell again.

15 posted on 05/23/2007 1:49:32 PM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys - Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat - But they know what's best.)
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To: SmithL
globalwarmingsuv
16 posted on 05/23/2007 7:46:40 PM PDT by agent_delta
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To: SmithL

Ever notice that when atheists, liberals or vehement Marxists die, we here note their passing, generally, with muted notice?

Ever notice that at various anti American, anti Christian, or anti capitalist sites that when conservatives, Christian religious leaders or capitalists die, it’s met with fanfare, derision and rejoicing?

That alone is enough to convince me that we are in the right.


17 posted on 05/23/2007 8:07:41 PM PDT by MarkBsnr
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