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Good thing he didn't try to heist a bunch of sporks.
1 posted on 01/09/2008 5:18:20 AM PST by Libloather
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To: Libloather

I bet he runs while holding scissors, too.


2 posted on 01/09/2008 5:20:49 AM PST by SIDENET (Hubba Hubba...)
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To: Libloather

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


3 posted on 01/09/2008 5:20:56 AM PST by sportutegrl
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To: Libloather

Karma.


4 posted on 01/09/2008 5:22:07 AM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed less people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: Libloather

We had an incident like that here in Indy. A guy went into a store and tried to rob the owner at knife point. He was shot dead at the scene. It was a gun store.

There are more Darwin award winners out there than you think.


5 posted on 01/09/2008 5:22:30 AM PST by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: Libloather
Lucky for him he didn't try to steal a Daisy "Red Ryder" BB gun.

He would have shot his eye out.

6 posted on 01/09/2008 5:23:05 AM PST by SIDENET (Hubba Hubba...)
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To: Libloather

I love a happy ending.


7 posted on 01/09/2008 5:24:30 AM PST by Kozak (Anti Shahada: There is no god named Allah, and Muhammed is a false prophet)
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To: Libloather

Why is the dateline Beijing??


8 posted on 01/09/2008 5:24:55 AM PST by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: Libloather

He used cutting edge shop lifting tactics.


9 posted on 01/09/2008 5:25:33 AM PST by NoLibZone (Hillary 's loss will liberal repudiation of the Clinton years)
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To: Libloather

He used cutting edge shop lifting tactics.


13 posted on 01/09/2008 5:37:44 AM PST by NoLibZone (Hillary 's loss will liberal repudiation of the Clinton years)
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To: Libloather

Ah, the self-cleaning gene pool!


14 posted on 01/09/2008 5:39:15 AM PST by ishabibble (ALL-AMERICAN INFIDEL)
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To: Libloather
Knife theft suspect to face charges

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

By Theresa D. Mcclellan
The Grand Rapids Press

GRAND RAPIDS -- A man who suffered stab wounds while allegedly fleeing a Meijer store with $300 worth of stolen knives could be arraigned on an unarmed robbery charge as soon as today, police said.

Jeremy Parker, 21, was discharged Tuesday from Spectrum Health Butterworth Campus, where he was treated for cuts to his abdomen after Monday's incident at the Knapp's Corner Meijer.

Grand Rapids Police Lt. Paul Warwick said an arrest warrant was issued for the Comstock Park man on the misdemeanor charge.

The incident occurred about 5:40 p.m. Monday near the store's north entrance. However, police and a spokesman for the retailer differ in their accounts of how the suspect was injured.

Grand Rapids police said there was a scuffle between Meijer employees and the suspect before the man was injured. Warwick said the man was stabbed in the abdomen by one of the knives.

"He had a number of them, all different types, but they weren't kitchen-type knives," Warwick said. Other police personnel described them as hunting knives.

But Frank Guglielmi, director of public relations for Meijer, said he was not aware of any physical confrontation between store workers and the suspect. He said the suspect fell, causing the injury.

"They approached him to apprehend him and he ran and fell," Guglielmi said, declining to say whether the store employees who went after the suspect were security workers.

"Once he fell, that was the point he was injured," Guglielmi said.

He said there is specific protocol for dealing with suspected shoplifters but only would say that Meijer workers are told to "approach."

"When our people see someone shoplifting, they approach. When they approached, he tripped," Guglielmi said.

19 posted on 01/10/2008 7:54:53 AM PST by csvset
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