Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker
The Smoking Gun ^ | December 21, 2012

Posted on 12/21/2012 4:24:30 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia

DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.

In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.

The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”

(Excerpt) Read more at thesmokinggun.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: fart; flatulence
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last
To: 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten

(Quoting Dave Barry) “Bean burritos could help explain why most of Mexico is located outdoors.”


41 posted on 12/21/2012 8:09:50 PM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia

Is this really serious? Not satire?

I can tell you Gas-X is not going to work. Maybe Gaviscon (I haven’t tried, although I think it’s more stomach-centered than intestines-centered). I have lots of chronic digestive disease, and occasionally I have gas inside so bad it’s really painful. Gas-X relieves that, if you know what I mean.


42 posted on 12/21/2012 8:12:32 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

Actually the SS complex is literally west of the edge of real Baltimore. Our family friend lives down the street from it, and not much further is my aunt. Although I must say Woodlawn generally is not a real good place; takes the color of the worst of Baltimore.


43 posted on 12/21/2012 8:16:30 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia; Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ping for MD


44 posted on 12/21/2012 8:18:45 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stormdog

No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.


45 posted on 12/21/2012 8:23:37 PM PST by eartrumpet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia
I work with a guy that we refer to as “The King of Flatulence”. We have learned to avoid his area whenever he eats his favorite lunch, jambalaya pizza and deep fried cauliflower. For his joke Christmas present this year he got a customized large Depends diaper lined with activated charcoal. Everyone was cracking up including him, but all that did was turn on the gas full stream. Thank goodness smoking is not allowed anywhere in the building.
46 posted on 12/21/2012 8:45:59 PM PST by SledgeCS (Good Men Died. Obama Lied. Impeach the LYING COWARD!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia

This whole story stinks.


47 posted on 12/21/2012 8:46:08 PM PST by Road Glide
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia; Abundy; Albion Wilde; AlwaysFree; AnnaSASsyFR; bayliving; BFM; ...

Maryland “Freak State” PING!


48 posted on 12/21/2012 8:52:32 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Obama should change his campaign slogan to "Yes, we am!" Sounds as stupid as his administration is.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SledgeCS

My 1st “pro” job I had some pals down the hall in the “big office”, with 4 people. The oldest of them (maybe 50s) was infamous as a flatulator. I didn’t know this until I asked what the deal was with all of them having dust masks hanging from their lamps. That’s when I found out they were symbolic of using protection against Tom and his frequent outbursts.


49 posted on 12/21/2012 9:44:00 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia; windcliff; stylecouncilor
This article from The Smoking Gun brought to you by the "Smoking Bun".

What is the workers name? Gaseous Clay? Fartholomew? Stinky Pete?

50 posted on 12/22/2012 12:49:18 AM PST by I Drive Too Fast
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: the OlLine Rebel

I remember reading a post a while back, where a person talked about working in a gov office with a group of deaf people who have no idea that passing gas causes sound. I can’t do his description justice although it still brings a smile to my face when I think about it.


51 posted on 12/22/2012 12:55:05 AM PST by Taylor42
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: rightwingintelligentsia

On this one, the one-liners just write themselves.


52 posted on 12/22/2012 12:13:54 PM PST by YHAOS
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek

Thanks for posting.

I just got finished reading the entire thread out loud to my family — they are STILL doubled up in laughter and tears (we were going to a funeral today but it’s about to start snowing...).


53 posted on 12/22/2012 1:50:06 PM PST by Bon of Babble (Instant Human....Add Coffee)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek
And we wonder why people go on workplace shooting sprees.

So...they put in place a farting freeze.

54 posted on 12/22/2012 9:28:44 PM PST by Albion Wilde (The only way to stop a man with a gun is with a gun. --Daniel Greenfield)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: eartrumpet
No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.

I am not making this up: one of my friends asked her teenager where he was going, and he said, "Down to Kohut's barn to light farts."

55 posted on 12/22/2012 9:54:23 PM PST by Albion Wilde (The only way to stop a man with a gun is with a gun. --Daniel Greenfield)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: Taylor42
I remember reading a post a while back, where a person talked about working in a gov office with a group of deaf people who have no idea that passing gas causes sound.

Reminds me of that old joke:

Q. Why did God make farts smell the way they do?

A. So that the deaf could also enjoy them.

56 posted on 12/22/2012 9:57:30 PM PST by Albion Wilde (The only way to stop a man with a gun is with a gun. --Daniel Greenfield)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson