Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker

The Smoking Gun ^ | December 21, 2012

[elcid1970]

(Quoting Dave Barry) “Bean burritos could help explain why most of Mexico is located outdoors.”

[the OlLine Rebel]

Is this really serious? Not satire?

I can tell you Gas-X is not going to work. Maybe Gaviscon (I haven’t tried, although I think it’s more stomach-centered than intestines-centered). I have lots of chronic digestive disease, and occasionally I have gas inside so bad it’s really painful. Gas-X relieves that, if you know what I mean.

[the OlLine Rebel]

Actually the SS complex is literally west of the edge of real Baltimore. Our family friend lives down the street from it, and not much further is my aunt. Although I must say Woodlawn generally is not a real good place; takes the color of the worst of Baltimore.

[the OlLine Rebel]

ping for MD

[eartrumpet]

No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.

[SledgeCS]

I work with a guy that we refer to as “The King of Flatulence”. We have learned to avoid his area whenever he eats his favorite lunch, jambalaya pizza and deep fried cauliflower. For his joke Christmas present this year he got a customized large Depends diaper lined with activated charcoal. Everyone was cracking up including him, but all that did was turn on the gas full stream. Thank goodness smoking is not allowed anywhere in the building.

[Road Glide]

This whole story stinks.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Maryland “Freak State” PING!

[the OlLine Rebel]

My 1st “pro” job I had some pals down the hall in the “big office”, with 4 people. The oldest of them (maybe 50s) was infamous as a flatulator. I didn’t know this until I asked what the deal was with all of them having dust masks hanging from their lamps. That’s when I found out they were symbolic of using protection against Tom and his frequent outbursts.

[I Drive Too Fast]

This article from The Smoking Gun brought to you by the "Smoking Bun".

What is the workers name? Gaseous Clay? Fartholomew? Stinky Pete?

[Taylor42]

I remember reading a post a while back, where a person talked about working in a gov office with a group of deaf people who have no idea that passing gas causes sound. I can’t do his description justice although it still brings a smile to my face when I think about it.

[YHAOS]

On this one, the one-liners just write themselves.

[Bon of Babble]

Thanks for posting.

I just got finished reading the entire thread out loud to my family — they are STILL doubled up in laughter and tears (we were going to a funeral today but it’s about to start snowing...).

[Albion Wilde]

And we wonder why people go on workplace shooting sprees.

So...they put in place a farting freeze.

[Albion Wilde]

No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.

I am not making this up: one of my friends asked her teenager where he was going, and he said, "Down to Kohut's barn to light farts."

[Albion Wilde]

I remember reading a post a while back, where a person talked about working in a gov office with a group of deaf people who have no idea that passing gas causes sound.

Reminds me of that old joke:

Q. Why did God make farts smell the way they do?

A. So that the deaf could also enjoy them.