Posted on 05/15/2013 9:36:40 AM PDT by Kaslin
Dear Dave,
I’m a stay-at-home mom now, and my husband brings home $2,600 a month. We’re trying to get out of debt, but we need more money coming in. I want to go back to work, but emotionally part of me feels like I should stay home with our 2-year-old daughter. What do you think?
Kayla
Dear Kayla,
I understand the feelings involved, especially if you’ve spent all of your time home with your child. But don’t make the mistake of blaming the debt if you simply want to go back to work. You’re not a bad person if you have kids and you work outside the home.
I have several ladies on my team who have young children, and they work 40 hours a week. Guess what? They’re excellent mothers! Anyone who says a woman can’t be a great mom because she works outside the home is full of crap. On the other hand, if anyone says you’re not fulfilling yourself as a person or you’re stunting your intellectual development because you’re a stay-at-home mom, they’re full of it too!
I’d advise you and your husband to sit down, talk about this a lot, and pray about the situation. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, because it’s none of their business.You guys are in charge of your lives and your family. That makes it your job to decide what’s best.
If you want to stay at home, and you guys can make it happen financially, that’s a great thing. If you can’t right now, or you simply want to go back into the workforce, that’s fine too. It’ll help solve your debt problem. Then after you’ve got your money under control, you might find you want to come home again. The option will be there.
For now, I think you should go back to work. Why? Because you want to!
—Dave
Dear Dave,
We live in New Jersey, and my wife and I can afford the $10,000 to send our son to a state college. However, we have a younger child who is heading to college in a couple of years, and I’m having a hard time justifying room and board when he can commute. My wife doesn’t have a problem paying for it, even though it would mean taking out a loan. What do you think?
Andy
Dear Andy,
I’m with you on this one. If you had an extra $40,000 lying around, this wouldn’t be an issue. But if you’re talking about borrowing money just for him to live in a dorm, my answer is a resounding no!
If your son, or your wife, wants the “college experience” to be part of the equation, then Junior can get a job to pay for the added expense. Anyone can make $10,000 a year delivering pizza while in school, and it would be a great life experience. You might spot him a little something to get him in there and get things going, but I’d make it contingent on him working to pay the remainder.
There’s no reason to take out loans for something like this. It sounds like you guys can cash flow the important stuff, but make sure this kid learns what work is and why it’s important. I worked full time while I was in college and still graduated in four years.
Besides, most college dorm rooms look a lot like prison cells; they’re tiny, with concrete block walls and maybe a window, if you’re lucky. Does this really sound like an “experience” worth going into debt for? I don’t think so!
—Dave
“I have never been able to help anyone who is not willing to follow Scriptural commands rather than Dave:
“Owe no man nothing, no not anything at all, except to love one another.” (A rather precise rendering of Romans 13:8)”
Had you done anything other than to judge Dave based on the ONE article, then you would realize that you have simply restated nearly his entire ministry with the above comment.
If you are attempting to be a witness to me, and other FReepers, this approach is not very effective.
I guess I failed to make my point clear: I do not believe, from this article, that Dave's solutions addressed the root problems.
Tanya's problem was yearning to exchange masters -- because one cannot serve two.
Andy's problem was failing to teach himself or his sons to make one's own life decisions, because of lack of guidance from guidance by the Holy Spirit.
Dave's problem is holding himself forth as a life counselor (usurping the role of the local church) rather than as a qualified public accountant (apparently his singular strength).
Any hints here for the problems you might be experiencing? (rhetorical, no answer needed)
When Jesus healed, his ministry addressed the whole person (spiritual, medical, material), almost always tracing back to spiritual error or ignorance. As I said, if your only tool is a hammer ... time to get the right tools for the job, eh? Romans 13:8 is not the answer to every problem.
If you are attempting to be a witness to me, and other FReepers, this approach is not very effective.
I already stated who my "ministry" can touch. For many, it will not. The Master's tough love is often rejected when one has a choice. I know -- have gone to the woodshed with my Heavenly Father many times. My proper focus is a life witness to Him. You?
With best regards --
I am very grateful for your diligence in selecting articles of great interest for this forum. This sort of gratuitous labor is probably the main reason that Free Republic is my premier source of news and views across the nation. I'm sure your contribution is noticed by many.
-- Break a leg, eh? -- /smile
“Dave’s problem is holding himself forth as a life counselor (usurping the role of the local church) rather than as a qualified public accountant (apparently his singular strength).”
Again, you show you are completely ignorant. In addition, it has taken you several very long posts, filled with nuance and judgement, to try and make a point. Your typing would FAR exceed the space available to Dave in the local papers that carry his article.
You clearly desire to remain ignorant so that you can sit in judgement of your fellow man.
It might be rather interesting to establish the reason driving the blossoming of these very profitable centers warehousing kids from the cradle to allow women to follow careers outside the home. What has been the effect? I can give a few personal anecdotal experiences, but what is the statistical significance to our cultural drift and child development?
Thanks for your expert criticism. I'll take it under advisement.
BTW, that's "judgment."
Ignorance is not a slight, it is a recognition that you don’t know anything about Dave, outside of this article, and that you have no desire to acquire any knowledge about the subject.
I am ignorant about many things and am more than happy to remain ignorant about them. However, I don’t attack folks that write articles about those subjects.
What a concept!
To the contrary, I am not ignorant of how he has approached the two problems in this article examined, and find that already he has a mixture of truth and error, such that I would read any advice he gives very cautiously, for he does not trust nor interpret the Holy Scriptures completely, and does not apply them consistently.
I am not attacking you, just debating, but you certainly have been attacking my writing despite what you maintain here, and in defense of a flawed discipline.
Sometimes I feel it is just as important to warn souls as much as to win them. Read your Bible. Lots of opportunities here on FR, as long as it is helpful and not just a general oppositionally defiant nuisance. IIRC
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