I have no answers but I know from experience that life knocks all of down a couple of times before it's over. Then often picks us up... You're not alone.
I like the approach to relationships taken by David Burns in his book Feeling Good Together. Highly recommend it. Focuses on both self-understanding and empathetic and honest communication with your spouse. Evolved from Dr. Burns’ long experience in counseling.
Don’t ask us. Ask the Lord. Then “be still and know that He us God”. You’ll get an answer if you’re honest. And don’t let your “wants and desires” interfere.
I’m the last person to come to seeking advice on relationships, so I offer you no advice, but I will pray for you.
Massage oil.
Never underestimate the power of a long....slow...back rub.
If you got fat he wishes you would lose weight but he does not want to tell you.
Just sayin from my own experience. I’m a guy.
I am sorry you are feeling lonely and unloved...I have walked that path and here is what I have learned...
I have been married for 25 years and I have learned over that 25 years that love is like an ocean tide. The “feeling of love” comes and goes and comes again. There have been years where I questioned sticking it out (we have 3 children). There were times when I didn’t “feel” love for him and he saw that and it hurt him. There were times when he didn’t “feel” love for me and we separated for almost a year. During that year I cried and screamed and then started looking inward and accepting where I played a part in all the devastation. All the while during that year I prayed and asked God to please show me where I needed to change and I also asked God to work on him concerning the things God wanted to change (not what I wanted God to change in him). It was hard and lonely and sad and yet some days I never felt closer to my Father in heaven than that year.
We did meet with a Christian therapist at the very beginning of the separation. I eventually quit after about 2 months and then so did he. I had pastors say to me “let him go” but as time went by I just prayed harder for God to help me become the person GOD had intended for me to be and the same for him.
I can tell you that the Lord did bring us back together and HE healed that relationship. He changed both of us over that year SEPARATELY.
We have now been married 25 years and I cannot say we have never fought since getting back together nor can I say I am the perfect wife and he is the perfect husband. I cannot say we have “felt” love every day since our reconciliation. However, we can both say that even though there have been days where we haven’t really “felt” that loving feeling, there would be days that came after that we did...sometimes as strong as the love we felt the day we said “I do” and sometimes even more than then.
Love is not simply a feeling. It is a commitment to stick it out through the good and the bad. It is a commitment to stick with it until you feel it once again and trust me if you stick it out and pray through it...it will come once again just like the tide.
I wish you the very best and I pray you don’t give up. Your incoming tide may be just around the corner.
The divorce is final long before it gets to court.
I’m just going to up and leave, will leave money for them to live on but I’m pretty tired of forcing it to work. I think Hawaii is calling my name.
There are more important things in life than sex. You need to communicate with your partner to the best of your ability. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Make the effort.
I like the approach to relationships taken by David Burns in his book Feeling Good Together. Highly recommend it. Focuses on both self-understanding and empathetic and honest communication with your spouse. Evolved from Dr. Burns’ long experience in counseling. Might help you clarify what matters to you, and give you some ways to talk about it, gently, with him, if that is what you want.
Though I clearly do not know all the particulars, have you, as a couple, considered investigating his testosterone levels?
I only bring that up because I went through a period where I very slowly drifted into an indifferent state for almost everything. Turned out to be low testosterone. I now get shots (there are other therapies) and am feeling “normal” (?) again; that is, back to being interested and engaged in life.
Has he bought a red sports car? Could this be a mid-life crisis?