[proud American in Canada]

Please excuse the typos!

[M. Thatcher]

Rule one, don’t ask anonymous people on the internet.

[AndyTheBear]

I think you should probably see a councilor or pastor about this. Divorce is a serious thing just as relationships are, but there is always going to be more going on then those of us out here in cyber space know.

[Celtic Conservative]

Just remember that the opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. If you say that you just don’t give a crap anymore, I’d be concerned.

CC

[narses]

Never. Hug him, cry a little and find the reason you married him in the first place.

[DallasGal]

Tricky question as circumstance are different for each person. I’m divorced but there was some physical and verbal abuse. Not to mention we were not equally yoked.

[Vendome]

Your man won’t have sexual with you?

You are divorced...

[Bodleian_Girl]

Rule 2: Never discuss your sex life with strangers in the internet.

It’s just not becoming.

My advice is stay married. If you’re over the age of 30 it’s extremely hard to find a man who isn’t already drowning in child support payments.

Better to keep the man you have and try and work things out rather than start up with a new mess.

[ConservativeMind]

Do you both get along to a reasonable extent?

In general, divorce is not a good choice, and if you are a Christian, I would double that “not a good choice” concern.

You seem to center your concern around not being more intimate. You do realize men can have more physical problems as we get older, leading to some to choose a physical withdrawal of sorts, without telling their partners why that might happen.

[Luke21]

How old are you and how long have you been married? What do you expect in the relationship? Do you have kids? Are they gone?

I’ve been married 40 years, and the relationship has changed and changed and changed some more. I just know there’s nobody I would have rather made this journey with.

Sorry you are so frustrated. Hope things work out. My best.

[Fungi]

Worthless thread.

[Ouchthatonehurt]

I’ll say a prayer for you, for wisdom and strength.

[Duchess47]

Praying for you, for wisdom and comfort.

[Rembrandt]

The answer to that question came rapidly to me when I asked myself THE question:

DO I WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS PERSON FOR THE NEXT 60 YEARS?

Considering not just looks but everything you have learned about your partner, just ask the question. The timing will take care of itself.

[Gay State Conservative]

Your girlfriends and/or your clergyman (if you have one) are better people to ask than us.

Just my 2 cents' worth....

[Snickering Hound]

[DannyTN]

• This is not uncommon and it can happen with either sex, husband ignoring wife and wife ignoring husband.
• It is very detrimental to a marriage and it needs to be addressed, if possible.
• Understand there can be many reasons including but not limited to:
  1. Physical performance issues.
  2. Mental performance issues.
  3. Trust issues.
  4. Porn addiction
  5. Opposite sex attraction
  6. History of abuse.

Possible courses of action include:

1. Get him to a men's clinic.
2. Get some samples of viagra or cialis and get him to try them.
3. Make his general doctor aware there is a problem and get him to go in.
4. Go see a counselor, preferably a Christian counselor with psychologist degree.
5. Guys are visual...get some lingerie.
6. Never act upset if he can't perform. Be reassuring and patient. Let him know you'll be there for him.

[Vermont Lt]

You are asking us. Why aren’t you asking him?

[Mercat]

Three people in a marriage, you, the spouse, and God. If its possible, pray together. If that’s not possible, just pray.

[Aliska]

If there wasn't violence in the marriage, or verbal abuse (neglect could be considered abuse), I think I would rather have one with no sex rather than have no mate at all. If your kids can take up the slack if you get sick and need lots of rides to doctors, etc., and do other favors for you, maybe you will think it is worth it.

I hate to see people get divorced, but you will know what's best for you. I will tell you it can get horribly depressing being alone, and the way other people think of you changes, subtly for some, but except for your closest friends, it changes.

It gets kind of personal to say more, but being divorced even from a horrible marriage is still hard. It's worse than becoming widowed.