Interesting.
He did have a heart attack about a year ago and I think he’s
Frightened.
Thank you, FRiend. :)
Yes, we do have fun and laugh together.
I just miss the closeness.
This changes a mans outlook. Contemplating ones own mortality isn't as easy or calming as in the movies. Performance issues can usually be overcome with a physician. Try to find a non-confrontational way to approach him about this "distance" you feel. Find a friend (preferably one of your own gender) to fill in part of your time. You need to maintain social ties to give you balance in your life. Prayer helps. I wish you all the luck in the world.
He may be having issues for which Viagra might be needed. I had a roommate that by age 35 he said his plumbing was not working and he’d need a prescription for it if he got married. That plumbing issue is often cholesterol blockage, of which your husband’s cholesterol levels could have helped lead to his heart attack. The first major symptom of cholesterol issues in many men is the plumbing problem, which blocks the tiny vessels which lead to a man’s physical reaction.
As we age or get fatter, our hormones shift away from those that made us robustly male and female. Sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) sequesters the hormones we favor. For men at least, this takes away a lot of “bedroom drive.” If he wants to see if this is it, “stinging nettle root extract” can temporarily block the effects of SHBG, making more testosterone freely available (as when we were younger).
I have only spoken of physical manifestations in a man’s body, but obviously there are many other possibilities to consider. If you have a good relationship, as you’ve stated, talk with him.
Divorce is a poor choice from the concerns you’ve provided us today.
that is important.
just guessing but he needs to know, from you, that physical closeness (cuddling) doesn’t have to lead to sex, and if it does, he needs to feel confidant he’ll be okay. wonder if he’s asked his doctor?
You have fun and laugh together? And you want to divorce? You need to give your head a shake. If you can have fun and laugh together, then you must still like each other. Heck, lots of people would give their eye tooth for that. Physical closeness is far less important than enjoying each other’s company.
Just my opinion, but you could be jumping out of a nice, comfortable relationship into God only knows what.
“Yes, we do have fun and laugh together.
I just miss the closeness.”
The perfect is the enemy of the good. As you get older, the good ones tend to get caught in marriage and are taken, leaving you to choose among a group with a much higher percentage of the damaged. Dump the guy you have fun and laugh with, and what do you end up with? By and large the older you get, the more most of the good people find their way into a successful marriage, and the more the remaining people are single for a reason, and that reason is what you will have to choose among.
You could find a guy who will bang you for a month, and then go banging other people.
You could end up in an abusive relationship that you then have to extricate yourself from.
You could end up with the spendthrift, the angry guy, the coward, the selfish guy, the narcissist, the psychopath manipulator, and on and on. They are out there.
Marriages go bad, and people end up single late in life for lots of reasons. Few are as good as we had fun and laughed together, but we didn’t have sex as much as I wanted.
Having seen really bad marriages end, and what they spill onto the singles market at least on one side, and how the good ones for marriage quickly move on and get hitched, I think your question should be less on how could your marriage be better, and more on how much worse will you be off starting over.
Actually being alone for the rest of your life could be better than many of the other paths you will have before you. Get hitched to a narcissist, and you could end up wondering if he will put something in your food, or sabotage your car. And you won’t see it in the beginning.
Food for thought. If he has your back through medical problems, and is loyal, you can end up doing a lot worse.