Posted on 12/01/2017 6:23:32 AM PST by sodpoodle
MOST of today's SJW snowflake comics suck. Can't make fun of anything except whites and men. Otherwise anyone or any topic on the liberal protected list is verboten and punishable.
I like to put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, and then "let em fight it out"
I have a T-shirt that has another version of this imprinted on it:
Even at my age, I still have a photographic memory.
However, my same day processing function has been terminated.
In 10 years or so people will not know what ‘film’ is.....................
I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says 1 mile = 1 mile.
My favorite:
“I was an only child, eventually.”
“When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night.”
Too deadpan for me. I’ll take Brian Regan any day. As a matter of fact, he’s got a new special on Netflix.
my girlfriend is so fat. we were dancing in my apartment and the record skipped.
we were listening to the radio.
radio free europe.
one of my favorite Wrightisms
>> I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
“I’m starting a War For Peace.”—Eric Idle as a Lennon-esque character, Monty Python
I used to joke with people that I could tell a car that had been used in rural New York vs one used in NYC: the high beam dimmer switch wore out before the horn.
Great!
Here’s some more....must be a master website of this guy somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=steven+wright+jokes&t=hg&atb=v80-1__&ia=web
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
One of my favorites:
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, ‘Cut it out.’
“When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.”
I remember Jackie Vernon. You're right, he had a similar style to Steven Wright. His most famous bit was probably his "Slide show" routine (You can find it on You Tube.) I think he was only in his mid 50s when he passed away.
I have a decaffeinated coffee table in my living room.
seamunsnh. I was there too. I’m from Malden. When he got off we left and went to see The Dream.
I absolutely loved Mitch Hedberg. And yes, I’m still very concerned about the Dufranes!
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