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I wrote A Children's Book, "“A Christmas Eve Hug From Mom”
Free Republic | 12/24/17 | Chuck Ness

Posted on 12/24/2017 8:57:26 AM PST by OneVike

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Mind you, this is not yet complete as I do need to edit it and maybe even change a few things. However it is real close to what it will be when I get it published. It's loosely based on an incident that happened to me when I was 7 years old.

I plan on getting it published in time for Christmas next year. It will be targeted for 7 to 11 year old children. A book to be read to them, and for them to read as they learn how. It will be an illustrated book, with pictures throughout it. So I will be looking for someone to draw the pictures for me since I will be dealing with copyright issues.

If anyone has any ideas that may help, by all means please let me know. I hope you enjoy the story.

1 posted on 12/24/2017 8:57:26 AM PST by OneVike
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To: Kathy in Alaska; TheOldLady; Salvation; dsc; Jemian; Ted Grant; yldstrk; thesearethetimes...; ...
I Wrote A Children's Book
Please tell Me What You Think




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2 posted on 12/24/2017 9:02:36 AM PST by OneVike (I'm just a humble Christian waiting to go home)
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To: OneVike

bttt


3 posted on 12/24/2017 9:03:30 AM PST by morphing libertarian (Build Kate's Wall)
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To: OneVike
Have Ricky leave a trail of bed crumbs so he can find his way back home.

Unless you think that might involve copyright issues.

In which case, pop tart crumbs. More modern too.

4 posted on 12/24/2017 9:04:59 AM PST by bagster (Even bad men love their mamas.)
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To: OneVike

Typo. Should be knew instead of new.


5 posted on 12/24/2017 9:13:15 AM PST by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: OneVike

Typo. Missing a period after lost.


6 posted on 12/24/2017 9:14:54 AM PST by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: OneVike

Women slaving away in the kitchen cooking while the men play cards? How in the world will a kid today be able to relate to a story from 1949? Today a kid would pull out his smartphone and use siri to find her way home or else just phone home and ask to get picked up.


7 posted on 12/24/2017 9:15:22 AM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: OneVike

What’s the lesson or purpose of the story and did you achieve it? Who is the audience?

Liked it. Believable story.


8 posted on 12/24/2017 9:19:42 AM PST by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: Kirkwood

Excellent point. Set your time period.


9 posted on 12/24/2017 9:20:40 AM PST by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: Kirkwood
You didn't read closely enough. The kid's dad "went away for a while" which is a nice way of saying he got locked up and is doing time. The mom is on welfare so the kid is too poor to have a cell phone.

It was the brothers that were playing cards. Another clue that they were poor, cause they couldn't even afford to play video games. The men don't come around till after the kids go to bed.

It's got single moms, dads in jail, poverty. It's a tale for the modern age.

One Vike, you should probably play up the above listed angles. People like Kirkwood can't read between the lines so I don't think kids will either.

Just some notes.

10 posted on 12/24/2017 9:23:33 AM PST by bagster (Even bad men love their mamas.)
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To: bagster

Geez... Why are you insulting the poster by making snide remarks about his family life? Saying his dad was in prison and his mom on welfare. Not cool.

My point was that kids today can’t relate to normal life from generations past.


11 posted on 12/24/2017 9:53:04 AM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: OneVike

BTTT


12 posted on 12/24/2017 9:56:01 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: Kirkwood

The time is actually 1962, so you are right no cell phones.

As for the girls helping mom, they enjoyed helping mom cook.


13 posted on 12/24/2017 9:56:31 AM PST by OneVike (I'm just a humble Christian waiting to go home)
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To: Kirkwood
What are you talking about? There was nothing snide about my remarks. And I was making remarks about his story, not his family life.

The author obviously meant that the dad was in prison. That's why he said he had to "go away for a while." That's a common euphemism. Ask Forrest Gump's mom.

You, on the other hand, did make snide remarks. You didn't even have the respect to read the story. There were no "men" playing cards. And all that about a cell phone. What kind of story would it be if the kids just moseyed on home with no problem. There would be no tearful reunion on Christmas.

You took a beautiful Christmas story and turned it into something ugly.

You need to get in the spirit of Christmas. When you make the effort to write a Christmas story and ask for notes, I will be happy to help you too. The author is free to take or leave my notes as he will.

Scrooge!

p.s. Merry Christmas.

14 posted on 12/24/2017 10:03:19 AM PST by bagster (Even bad men love their mamas.)
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To: OneVike

I liked the story very much. I’d like it better if the story specified that the dad was in the military. The scene with the snow,the dark, the cold and a lost little boy was set really well.


15 posted on 12/24/2017 10:04:39 AM PST by jonathonandjennifer
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To: TheWriterTX

Thank you, I’ll correct those errors.

The audience is 7 to 11 year old children.

Lesson and purpose? Hmm, good question.

I guess to know where you live and listen to mom about going home before it gets dark.

It’s a story to entertain, and it is based on a true event in my life, so i am glad it came off as believable.


16 posted on 12/24/2017 10:09:12 AM PST by OneVike (I'm just a humble Christian waiting to go home)
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To: jonathonandjennifer

Good idea, in today’s world children will understand that well. I like it.

Thanks, I am glad I described it well.


17 posted on 12/24/2017 10:12:50 AM PST by OneVike (I'm just a humble Christian waiting to go home)
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To: OneVike
I, too, lived in an apartment complex about the time you did. It was great. Plenty of kids my age and their parents were like adopted parents.

This was before Johnson and his "Great Society" agenda. When that passed I , as a youngster, noticed the effect it had on new residents.

Often I go by the apartment complex , " The Courts" and it is sad to see what has happened. Personal pride , for some, doesn't exist like it did in the past.

"The Courts" was a stepping stone until families acquired enough money to buy a home.

18 posted on 12/24/2017 10:16:04 AM PST by lysie
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To: lysie

Good points. You are correct, the family unit and neighborhood closeness was destroyed by making the government the daddy and paying young girls to get pregnant to get their own place.


19 posted on 12/24/2017 10:22:25 AM PST by OneVike (I'm just a humble Christian waiting to go home)
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To: OneVike

I enjoyed reading your story.


20 posted on 12/24/2017 10:39:16 AM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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