Posted on 03/03/2018 4:48:19 AM PST by newnhdad
Please don't automatically discount meds because they have a bad stigma lately. Meds can and do work but it oftentimes means adjustments. Work with the doctors to find a happy medium, a dose or medication that works for your child.
Dr. Rosario Trifiletti specializes in PANDAS/PANS. This is the doctor my friend now consults with for her son. I have sent her this thread link. She is not a freeper, but she is a kindred spirit. Maybe she will chime in...
My wife and I adopted a child with significant mental/behavioral issues much like what you are describing. I will not post on here for the armchair psychiatrists to pick apart but would be glad to chat w/you via p.m.
I noticed that your wife is in the Navy.
If she is strong willed and strict rule enforcement it complicates the transition.
Boys at this age naturally rebel against their mothers. At 16 they know it all and rebel against their fathers.
Depression happens when the child holds on during the separation stages. Teen hormonal changes facilitate rebellion and separation.
Healthy parenting steers the child through development, not trying to crush them.
If it's garbage in, it's garbage out.
Don't weary and become a parent in crisis. Our father who art in heaven . . .
The chemical imbalance issue needs investigation. You can’t do it.
Exercise does help with endorphins.
Yep. Get professional help right now. Do not seek medical or psychological advice from strangers on the internet....even with Freepers.
Do you need references for where to reach out to?
They have just removed me from working with a violent 7 year old that has a diagnosis of being Emotionally Disturbed.
This student should be placed in the least restrictive environment, which is NOT a general education classroom.
The district is trying to save money and not pay for a placement like what you got for your daughter. Instead, the admins and Resource teacher have isolated the student, removed me as the Aide, and deemed him "not aggressive or violent" so they look good.
They lie and it solves nothing.
“We don’t want meds but I’m not sure where else to turn.”
Stay away from the SSRIs. -Or just read the warning label. Seems most parents don’t do that.
What is the living arrangement? It sounds like he lives with his mother, closeby to you.
Twelve y.o. male = hormones coming in. FME male hormones don’t do well and are not understood in a woman-run household. He may be frustrated and depressed due to his development being in conflict with his surroundings and an (imposed) way-of-life, ergo value system.
I raised for children, and supervised many groups from cub scouts, boy scouts, church groups, sports teams,......
That gave me much better training than my degree in psychology. My wife is an MD psychiatrist, thus I am well aware of the neuro-biochemical changes that influence mental health.
I’ve worked with many adopted children who act out at age 8 to 12. This is usually created by a fear of rejection and low self image due to birth parent rejection.
Very few health professionals know how to resolve the root problem in the consciousness programming. These adopted children, even when raised by excellent parents, can be Nobel Prize winners or Olympic Medalists and still not feel “Good enough.”
I join in your prayer.
I will pray for your son and your family.
“Stay away from the SSRIs. -Or just read the warning label. Seems most parents don’t do that.”
The SNRI’s and newer Atypical Antipsychotics are even worse than the SSRI’s.
More Omega-3 fats, lower Omega-6 fats, more Vitamin D:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150225094109.htm
Other study information, here:
https://www.livestrong.com/article/219636-supplements-for-behavioral-problems-in-children/
Been thru same situation except with much younger child. Meds will work wonders when brain is out of balance IF properly monitored and controlled.
Google “Hardy nutritionals.” Helpful for some people.
If you see a therapist, I cannot stress strongly enough the need to be sure that therapist is good. There a TONS of therapists who will make the problem worse.
Some things to look for in a therapist:
1. Christian. Not an absolute requirement, but at least you know you have a better chance that it is someone aligned with your morals.
2. Experience in dealing with situations like yours. Someone might be a great marriage counselor and a wonderful person, but have no background with a child/family going through a crisis like yours.
A few more points.
Take a close look at the kids your kid is hanging out with. Also the teachers. Starting around this age, they have a far greater influence on your child than you do. Completely cut off contact with bad influences. COMPLETELY.
Is this a cry for attention? Do you think he might be acting this way to test your limits? No matter how much they say otherwise, kids WANT LIMITS. If you are allowing the kid to “run the show, call the shots”, he is rebelling against that. If you are not paying enough attention to him (or only paying attention when he is bad), he is screaming for attention. This is not an indictment of your parenting. Plenty of good parents who are trying to do the right thing do not understand this.
Is this a cry for attention or help for some other reason? For example, is he being bullied or molested and is unable to admit it?
Cycle of misery/guilt. Some people seem to get a “high” from causing problems and disruption. Then they “crash” from the guilt they feel for doing so. Then the only way to make themselves feel better is to try to get another “high” again from acting badly. If this is the case, you need to break the cycle. One important thing to break the cycle is to be able to be happy and have fun yourself and to let the kid see that you are happy. This is a complex, difficult, and long process.
If you think any of this is helpful, or have other questions, please FReepmail me.
God bless you all.
For your adult child:
https://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/condition-1488/polycystic+ovary+syndrome+pcos
The supplements may all work, but the studies may not be replicated.
Look into each.
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