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Transplaining: I'm a cisgender man. How do I tell my friends and family my partner is transgender?
Mic ^ | July 3, 2018 | Serena Daniari

Posted on 07/03/2018 12:17:54 PM PDT by EdnaMode

I’m a 35-year-old man and I’ve always identified as straight. I’ve been married twice and been in many relationships with genetic women but it never worked out. Recently, I’ve discovered my attraction to trans women. I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?

I want to commend you for expressing your truth because it takes tremendous courage, particularly while living in a society that has very rigid notions of what masculinity looks and behaves like. In the trans community, we sometimes overlook that the men who are attracted to us must endure a coming out process as well. You’ll be happy to know that you’ve already taken the most challenging step, which is to come to an understanding of your sexuality and embrace it. It sounds like you’re ready to move forward.

Before I continue, I want to note that while you’re probably feeling anxious, your trans partner is likely experiencing some herself. She may be dealing with the usual nerves that come with meeting a partner’s loved ones, coupled with some insecurities regarding how her femininity and womanhood will be perceived. For this reason, I think it’s best to tell your friends and family that she is transgender before you introduce your partner to them. You wouldn’t want to put her in a potentially uncomfortable or dangerous situation that could heighten her gender dysphoria.

When considering your query, I decided to reach out to writer, public speaker and trans activist Tiq Milan for more insight.

“You have to be her first line of defense,” he said in an email. “She is the one that has to be outed to them, so you have an obligation to protect her in awkward situations and intervene if people are disrespectful.”

When you ultimately decide to tell your friends and family, I recommend framing each conversation in a positive light. There’s no need to express your partner’s transness as something that is strange or abnormal. Tell your loved ones you’ve met a wonderful girl who you are very fond of and that she happens to have a different past than most girls because she was assigned male at birth. Let them know that she now identifies as a woman and lives her life accordingly.

Be sure to also sprinkle in some distinctive details about who she is, like her hobbies and aspirations. Paint an accurate and well-rounded picture beyond her trans identity. After all, trans people are multifaceted human beings, full of nuance and depth. We are more than our trans identity.

There is always a chance that certain individuals will not react well to finding out your partner is trans. But in my personal experience, people tend to be much more open and receptive than you may initially think. (It is 2018 after all.) My suggestion is to be open-minded, just like you are hoping your loved ones will be to you. Allow people to surprise you and give them the benefit of the doubt. I think that most of the people who genuinely care about you will just want to see you happy and fulfilled.

Sincerely, Serena


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: cisgender; disorders; fdrq; homosexualagenda; trans; transgender; transplaining
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To: LibertarianLiz

LOL...Yeah....I wouldn’t be either...


81 posted on 07/03/2018 2:34:44 PM PDT by JBW1949 (I'm really PC....PATRIOTICALLY CORRECT!!!!)
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To: EdnaMode

“I’m a 35-year-old man and I’ve always identified as straight.”

Just fess up. You’re a fag.


82 posted on 07/03/2018 2:40:26 PM PDT by fwdude (History has no 'sides;' you're thinking of geometry.)
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To: budj

I’ve always wanted to “identify” to someone that I’m a Trans-transgender, a man who identifies as a woman who wants to transition to a man.

It’s no stranger than what’s out there.


83 posted on 07/03/2018 2:42:34 PM PDT by fwdude (History has no 'sides;' you're thinking of geometry.)
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To: EdnaMode

The guy likes transvestites


84 posted on 07/03/2018 2:45:19 PM PDT by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: Red Badger

I have no idea.

A mutant freak, maybe?


85 posted on 07/03/2018 2:48:49 PM PDT by Salamander (I ride all night and I travel in fear, that in this darkness, I will disappear...)
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To: BlueLancer
No, I think "cisgender" describes those individuals who "identify" within the sex that they were born ...

Oh, you mean...NORMAL?

86 posted on 07/03/2018 2:50:05 PM PDT by JimRed ( TERM LIMITS, NOW! Build the Wall Faster! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: FES0844

And how he walks in high heels, with those cloven hooves is a mystery.


87 posted on 07/03/2018 2:50:07 PM PDT by Salamander (I ride all night and I travel in fear, that in this darkness, I will disappear...)
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To: EdnaMode
How do I tell my friends and family my partner is a transgender?

Try this,

"Hey guys, guess what. I'm a faggot."

Easy peezy.

Bagster

88 posted on 07/03/2018 2:50:31 PM PDT by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas.")
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To: Salamander

One FReeper suggested a robot.............


89 posted on 07/03/2018 2:50:50 PM PDT by Red Badger (July 2018 - the month the world discovered the TRUTH......Q Anon)
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To: Red Badger

This is one of those days where I’m *thisclose* to blurting out something that will get me the ZOT.

:D


90 posted on 07/03/2018 2:54:48 PM PDT by Salamander (I ride all night and I travel in fear, that in this darkness, I will disappear...)
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To: EdnaMode

No you just sick!


91 posted on 07/03/2018 2:57:56 PM PDT by spincaster ( AM A)
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To: EdnaMode
I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?

Chances are, they'll immediately understand why your two marriages and numerous other quickie relationships with real women never worked out. In fact, some of them will have suspected the truth all along.

92 posted on 07/03/2018 2:58:01 PM PDT by sphinx
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To: Trillian
It’s best people like this don’t get pets either.

Wait. Are we talking about a cis-cat or a trans-cat. Many dogs identify as cats these days.

Specie-ism is a spectrum.

Bagster

93 posted on 07/03/2018 3:00:56 PM PDT by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas.")
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To: Trillian
He’s pretending he’s straight

But he calls himself Serena.

Dude is mixed up six ways from Sunday.

94 posted on 07/03/2018 3:13:22 PM PDT by Windflier (Pitchforks and torches ripen on the vine. Left too long, they become black rifles.)
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To: EdnaMode
I just read 94 replies and nobody laughed at this, "When considering your query"?
Huh, Hu Huh, He said, Query!
He should have said, considering you're queery.
95 posted on 07/03/2018 3:24:26 PM PDT by outofsalt (If history teaches us anything, it's that history rarely teaches us anything.)
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To: EdnaMode
So many new terms to keep up with.

Both translate to "queer as a $3 bill".

96 posted on 07/03/2018 3:36:02 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: EdnaMode

“I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?”

Go to Russia, find a Shrink who speaks decent English (most probably do), and he’ll set you back to the ‘normal’ path, since there aren’t any laws against helping people straightening out in Russia.

At that point, you’ll be able to join society as a normal person.


97 posted on 07/03/2018 3:40:57 PM PDT by BobL (I drive a pick up truck because it makes me feel like a man)
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To: EdnaMode

“I’ve been married twice.” And he is still in denial. Dude. Grow up.


98 posted on 07/03/2018 3:50:51 PM PDT by Falconspeed ("Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others." Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-94))
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To: EdnaMode

*** “Hi mom and dad. I am mentally ill. Can you help me?” ***

Says it all, next sentence is “I have these Student Loans...


99 posted on 07/03/2018 3:52:30 PM PDT by TexasTransplant (Damn the Torpedoes! Full Speed Ahead!)
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To: bagster

100 posted on 07/03/2018 4:39:04 PM PDT by Trillian
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