Maybe a special type of pet dog would help him?
Prayers going up.
Look at it this way: alcohol and pot ARE his meds.
I think it’s important that alcoholics and potheads eat right. Make sure he gets a salad every day. No hot dogs or cold cuts. It’s important to eat grounding vegetables like beets and carrots (tubors) and other vegetables. Even a hamburger now and then. I’ve seen it happen before. My Viet Vet friend died in 1998; only ate hot dogs, corn pops and ziti. And lots of beer. We still miss him.
May God bless.
PTSD is horrible. Have a male cousin with it that is living with me. He was sexually molested as a child. Therapy and a good medical team who understands that the alcohol is the self medication to lessen the pain. (They now have medicine that removes the desire to drink. It’s been very helpful)
Your son needs a safe place to feel the emotions he has stuffed. Being emotionally constipated is no way to go through life
Prayers and meditation helps
We will include you and yours in ours ! With God all things are possible!
Perhaps you might wish to reach out to Point Man International Ministries (PMIM).
From the PMIM info page: “Point Man International Ministries was founded by Bill Landreth in 1984. Bill was a Vietnam veteran who served with the Americal Division. For years he had suffered from what is known as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Having many symptoms of PTSD, Bill couldn’t get all of his needs met by the Veterans Administration (VA). We believe VA provides a very necessary and important role on the road to most veterans recovery, but the concentration does not target the “spiritual” part of man. “
If you are interested, here is a content page for the Coos Bay, Oregon chapter: http://pointman101.org/PMIM.htm
and here is an information page on International ministries:
http://www.pointman101.org/PM.Ministries.htm
I know the pain...so very well. It was my husband who suffered a severe concussion due to a fall.
The man that I adored “died” that night on the floor; it took five years of bruises, broken bones, horrific verbal abuse & a gun held to my head to finally realize that I needed to save myself:(
I also quit speaking to my family for a time because that would really set him off. He would not work much after the accident, so the financial burden was also on me.
He would NEVER admit that he had changed and he most certainly did not think that he needed help..apparently that’s common depending on the area of the brain affected. It’s like they have no idea who you are or why they are somehow stuck with you. On my end...there was this man with the same face, same beloved voice, etc...but “he” wasn’t in there.
As several posters have said above, he may find help with serious therapy...if you can get him there.
Guess my main point in posting is to ask you to REALLY consider the toll that it is taking on you (clear from your post), but also the other family members. Bless you & your hero son; I hope he can one day make it “back” to the family.
My heart goes out to you, your wife and your son as it is a terrible situation to be in.
Go to your local American Legion and set up an appointment with the Service Officer. The Legion has contacts with sources nationwide that can offer assistance.
Start here:
https://www.legion.org/serviceofficers
Good luck, FRiend
Prayers done for All involved.
I know others are going to say use the VA. I’m going to say be careful with the VA. They have a tendency to just stuff one full of drugs and send them out the door.
I say this as I have watched it happen to a Loved one. It didn’t end well.
Prayer (((PING)))
I am greatful to my God that men like your son felt so committed to doing the right thing they threw themselves into the fray so hard to protect that which they loved so much back in the real world.
Strong prayers up for your son and entire family.
Praying for you all.
The weed and alcohol sound like the real problem and it’s a common problem.
Prayers for all of you.
I suggest a professionally supervised family intervention, aimed on getting him started with twelve steps recovery.
Ihave over 24 years sober, and I see several vets with PTSD in meetings, and staying sober.
Hello, I too have faced similar obstacles in family life.
Anger at the son is to be left at the side. You have a job to do as a parent and you owe it to your family at to try and help. Anger does no good.
You have to bring him forward and leave the pain he is holding on to behind. Show a path. Take the time. Don’t give up. And pray for him and you and your family. Let him know that he is the reason you try to help. He is your son.
You are the father, not to scold but to guide. You can do it. Teach him not to be a victim.
Get him off the prescription drugs. They will mess with the alcohol he will drink and his mind if he doesn’t.
Talk, but not just about him and what he is doing to himself. Be his “therapist”. Learn to guide the conversation toward enlightenment. Show him the beauty in the world. Doing this will make him want to change and seeing and imagining a better happiness that come with the future. We can all change.
You are right that it’s up to him, but your guidance is key. I say this only if he is not violent as I have assumed. If he is, there are similar but other steps and advice to add.
Prayers for you and your family. Stand and be strong.
Prayers for your son and your family. I don’t have answers but I understand. Our s-i-l suffered a TBI in Iraq. He has issues with memory and with PTSD. He has been able to find ways to compensate, hopefully your son can too.