Posted on 08/09/2018 4:20:52 AM PDT by IamConservative
As college football approaches, rivalries renew, summer fades and fall arrives. It would be hard to grow up in American and not be touched by some of the rivalries, traditions and humor that goes with the arrival of fall.
So, I thought a thread celebrating some of the humor might help usher in the season and give us all a needed break from politics.
Please post your college football rivalry or state rivalry jokes below!
One of the other boys said: "Boudreaux, you have toilet paper stuck in your backside."
Boudreaux says: "No sirree. I'm receiving a fax."
WUT???
What does the average Auburn player get on his SATs?
Drool.
Cajun humor.
How do you get a Clempson cheerleader into your dorm room?
Put Vaseline on the door jams and push real hard!
College football thuggery is approaching NFL standards.
It is not true that Texas A & M has their library books organized by size. No, they are organized by color.
An old one, updated to current coaches.
During the off-season, Nick Saban and Gus Malzahn got together to do some fishing. Saban caught one, but as he was reaching over to pull it in, the boat rocked a little and he fell overboard. Unfortunately, he wasn’t much of a swimmer and he was in real danger of drowning,
Malzahn was finally able to get a hold of him and pull him back in the boat. After they caught their breath, Saban said “Thanks, you really saved my life. What can I do to repay you?”
Malzahn said “Just promise you won’t tell the people back at Auburn I did that, because if they find out I didn’t let you drown, they will run me out of town.”
Saban said “Your secret is safe with me, as long as you don’t tell the people in Tuscaloosa that I couldn’t walk on water.”
Grads from Alabama, Auburn, and Tennessee were in a restroom at a bar...
The Alabama grad was washing his hands...He used very little soap, just a sprinkle of water...He looked at the other two and said “At Alabama, we were taught thriftiness.”
The Auburn grad goes to the sink, turns the water on full, get a huge handful of soap and lathers up to his elbows...He looks at the other two and says “At Auburn, we were taught cleanliness.”
The Tennessee grad just looks at both, shakes his haed and walks toward the door....Alabama and Auburn guys both ask “Aren’t you gonna wash?”
The Tennessee grad says, “At Tennessee, we were taught not to piss on our hands.”
As one half of a mixed-marriage (Ohio-Michigan) I think I’d better sit this one out.
Q: A University of Wisconsin wide receiver, tight end, and running back are all in a car. Who is driving?
A: The cop.
I got my degree from the University of Georgia this summer. I drove through Athens with my windows down, and someone threw one in.
I heard the library burned down. But.... tragedy was avoided as the book was checked out.
Young college girl comes home from a date and as she is undressing, her roommate notices and M indented on her chest.
Roommate: Did you go out with a guy from Michigan ?
College Girl: No, Wisconsin.
Why did Auburn quit teaching driver’s ed and sex ed on the same day?
They were wearing out the mule.
Cam Newton can relate to college grads having trouble getting a job. The Panthers ain’t paying him what Auburn paid him. :)
If you were at the Hugo Bowl you’re a real man college fan. We don’t have many people that dedicated even here in Alabama. :)
Not a joke, but a silly story about how college football relates to other sports.
I was in Cincinnati years ago, had a little free time one day, and was walking around town. I passed the Reds’ stadium from a few blocks away, but didn’t know that was the Reds’ stadium because there were no signs about it on my street and from where I was at it seemed kinda small.
I wound up in a nearby restaurant full of Reds memorabilia, especially pertaining to Johnny Bench. I asked one of the locals if the nearby stadium was the Reds stadium and they affirmed. I said, “Really? That seems kinda small. What’s the capacity?” They said 40+ thousand. I said, “What about the Bengals stadium capacity?” They said 60+ thousand. I said, “Don’t you guys take your sports seriously around here? The stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama seats 101 thousand.” They said, “Oh, yes. Ohio State’s is 101 thousand, too.” :) :) :)
Q: What does the “N” on Nebraska’s football helmet stand for.
A: Knowledge
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