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Universal To Donate All Proceeds From New ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie To #MeToo Movement (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | February 13, 2018 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/17/2018 11:44:45 AM PDT by gattaca

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA—In a selfless move designed to help victims of sexual harassment and abuse, Universal Pictures announced Tuesday it would be donating all proceeds from the new Fifty Shades Freed movie—the final chapter in the blockbuster trilogy featuring a creepily aggressive, controlling male lead and raunchy sex and bondage scenes—to foundations that support the #MeToo movement.

According to the company, all profits from ticket and movie sales of the film focused on an unhealthy, abusive relationship will go toward ensuring women aren’t objectified, harassed, or otherwise victimized by men who use their wealth and status as leverage.

“Every time you purchase a ticket to watch Anastasia Steele and creepily obsessive BDSM fanatic Christian Grey in gratuitous sex scenes, you can rest secure in the knowledge that you’re helping prevent predatory objectification and harassment of women,” a Universal rep said in a press conference. “You’re doing your part.”

Universal also claimed it would be selling the Fifty Shades trilogy on Blu-ray in a special “#MeToo Edition.” The set will include a bonus documentary on the #MeToo movement and let viewers know how they can help victimized women, right after they finish watching hours of a fictional abusive romance at home.

At publishing time, on the heels of the announcement, selfless feminists had flocked to the erotic film in droves for the sole purpose of helping victimized women, as worldwide box office revenue approached $140 million for the final installment of the billion-dollar-plus franchise.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
Old but relevant today.
1 posted on 09/17/2018 11:44:45 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: gattaca

I know this is ‘satire’ but if the studio really is making a third film is should include a nod to that woman led domination sex cult in L.A....


2 posted on 09/17/2018 11:49:33 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
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To: gattaca

Isn’t # commonly referred to or known as the pound sign? (e.g., “please enter your access code followed by the pound sign”) Curious why this Movement chose, of all things, #MeToo as its social media nom de e-plume. And how then can anyone take offense if a Weinstein, for example, responds, “Well, okay. Don’t mind if I do.”


3 posted on 09/17/2018 1:26:00 PM PDT by Ahithophel (Communication is an art form susceptible to technical failures)
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To: gattaca

this is rich. After three novels describing women being willingly submissive to sexual games involving hetero men, which women bought by the MILLIONS - and, clamored for more in the form of movies - the movie maker is going to donate some profits to women orgs who make an industry complaining about hetero men being dominant. You can’t make this stuff up.


4 posted on 09/17/2018 3:18:30 PM PDT by blueplum ( "...this moment is your moment: it belongs to you... " President Donald J. Trump, Jan 20, 2017)
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