Posted on 12/23/2018 8:28:32 AM PST by sodpoodle
1 The Duck Who Bought Lipstick
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.”
2 Coconut In The Face
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at him.
3 Short Doctor Joke
Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? A: Because it was not peeling well
4 The Most Helpful Book In The World
Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?” Student: “My father’s check book!”
5 Funny Clean Short Jokes About Father And Mother
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
(Excerpt) Read more at humoropedia.com ...
ROFL...especially at #5
The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said. “That was when mommy came to work for us?”
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