Posted on 02/16/2020 8:03:42 PM PST by madison10
This is swirling in my brain and there seems to be no good answer:
I am executor of my parents' estate. My mom passed away less than a month ago. In order to distribute the estate according to the will the farm property (and probably house) will have to be sold...or something.
Problem 1: the property has been in the family over 150 years. No one in the family farms it. We are at the end of progeny who "might" want to farm it. The one possibility is in high school still. All of the adult children but one live adjacent to the property.
Problem 2: one sibling who cared for our parents (sibling received a regular paycheck from parents for their care and lived with parents) currently lives in the family home. Said sibling is single, almost 50, has trouble walking due to arthritis, and now has no job. The fourth home "on" the property is where the sibling lives.
Problem 3:The house is 44 years old and has not been updated much. The yard is probably at least three acres to mow. Honestly, I am not sure the other siblings would want to buy the house or are able. It needs fixing up for sure.
The dilemma is: what would YOU suggest occur? There seems to be no answer in my brain. There is the business side of this, but the emotional/legacy side is tearing me up. Not sleeping a ton.
Thank you, oh wise ones.
Thank you. I will look for the book. Is it more for the caregiver, or those around the caregiver?
It’s written for caregivers. It helped me understand my own experience and emotions. For good or ill, caregiving really is a transformative experience.
The book also helped me better understand those around me. It’s easy to interpret the words and actions of non-caregivers as intentionally hurtful, but the book helped me to step back and see that intensive caregiving can only be understood by those who’ve done it, and I shouldn’t interpret others’ lack of understanding as intentional cruelty. If I had not undergone the caregiver “journey,” I might be saying and doing some of the same things my siblings are, so I need cut them some slack.
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