Posted on 04/02/2020 8:42:29 PM PDT by dangus
Oh, sure I hate people who design packages like the inner cereal bag you can't open without using your teeth. Or the tiny little necks on ketchup bottles. Or the erupting juice boxes (why can't I peel off the seal? Why make me apply pressure with the ideal conduit for juice to squirt at my new shirt?)
But no-one deserves to be stuck on a car trip with the Eagles' Love Will Keep Us Alive on endless loop like the bastards who made *every* *single* *appliance* *I* *own* attempt to tell me something with the same high-pitched beep that goes off too frequently to catch naps in between but far too infrequently to be hunted down with any human sense of auditory direction.
Is it my dishwasher? My microwave? My can-opener? My refrigerator?
Seriously, if my fire detector batteries are going bad, I need to know that I might die if I don't replace. I am NOT going to die because I left 13 seconds on the timer on my microwave, unless my lack of sleep causes me to drive my car into a bus filled with 50 innocent school children on their way back from visiting the old folks' home.
After unplugging every device in my house, the beep continues. And kitchen appliances aren't easy to unplug; I had to simply hit the circuit breaker to turn off my stove. WTF!!! Someone designed an internal battery to stay on when the power is off just to remind me that my popcorn finished popping 13 seconds faster than I expected? Or was my dishwasher reminding me that I decided to wait until my wife was finished showering before finishing the dishes? Can't you design a dishwasher that says, "The dishes are not finished being washed." I can even look up what "Shokkiarai ga owatte imasen" means if it comes to that. Where do I look up what "beep ... [nine minutes of silence] ... beep" means?
I need someone to decode these beeps! I finally figured out what was making the beep, after finishing my letter to the Maytag repairman that my washing machine didn't come with a pet bat enclosed. (Is that how everyone else knows what the beeps mean? You all have pet bats or something? Was I not allowed one after the ASPCA found out I was playing a Mariah Carey album so I could laugh at the bats crashing into my shed when ever she hit a high note?)
See, when I bought my house, it came with a security system. I don't have a subscription, but it does tell me whenever someone comes into the house. Yeah, that's right, it tells me "Front door is open" whenever I come home. But six weeks after moving in, it decides to beep to tell me that my subscription ran out six months ago. THE THING LITERALLY COULD SAY "My subscription ran out, you cheap bastard!" And instead, it uses the EXACT SAME NOISE my dishwasher uses to tell me, "Hey idiot... the wife is out of the shower and the rice is starting to fuse to your breakfast bowl."
Electronics engineers, know this. I will find you. I have an old car, an auto-looping cassette player, and a cassette single of Dream Lover. You will pay.
I’m with you, brother. I build all my communications and security equipment into our front hall coat closet. Because of all the electronics, I put a smoke detector in the ceiling of the closet. The smoke detectors are all AC connected, but the batteries still run down and the damn things beep.
A year ago we had one of those damnable brief “beeps” happening every few minutes. It took me HOURS to remember I’d put a smoke detector in the closet. We had, one by one, taken down all the smoke detectors in the bedrooms, hall, and living room without finding the culprit. Then I finally remembered I’d put one in the hall closet.
The “Marketing Requirements Documents” for these things must include a requirement: “Drive consumer insane with 100 millisecond beeps every five minutes.” They sure succeeded meeting that requirement!
LOL! Nice post!
Your old car will have the points foul out long before you catch up with anyone responsible. Also, most even vaguely recent reasonable quality appliances have manuals written in decent English. If it’s only in Japanese, either you bought the wrong thing or your Japanese appliance is appallingly old.
Also, get your hearing checked, you should be better able to locate the source of the beeping than what you have stated.
:P
LOL! Excellent. :)
We had a power outage for about an hour today. About 10 minutes after the outage, one of my compact CyberPower UPS units started beeping. It was powered on, but nothing was plugged into it, so no power draw (I use it for my AC adapter for the laptop and external USB drives).
But instead of the typical two-beep signal or continuous beeping, it was a series of five quick beeps every minute or so. This was happening despite having set the unit to mute warning sounds.
A call to CyberPower tech support proved fruitless. The tech was unaware of any five beep sequence for this particular UPS (or any other one). It wasn’t in any of the documentation available to him. Thanks for the help. :eyeroll:
BUT WHICH 480-PAGE MANUAL DO I READ????
There are things that should beep and don’t. Most of them are black or dark gray. Clickers, key fobs, mice, small flashlights, thumb drives, external drives, chargers, my house slippers and my wallet. All these should light up as well as beep. It’s a big house and half the walking I do in it is while looking for stuff.
My microwave beeps 4 times to signal the end of a cycle.
One would be sufficient.
Two would be tolerable.
Three are a bit much.
FOUR!!!!
And then it beeps at 5th time when I open the door to remove the finished item.
I have found no setting to change that.
Beep Beep Beep Beep
Beep!
I should note that after I turned off the unit, a second UPS in another room started with the same five beep sequence.
Well, 460 of those pages are disclaimers and foreign language versions anyway, so your potential reading task is much smaller.
Also, you can often go to the manufacturer web site and download the manual in searchable PDF. Makes it much easier. Only been around for 25 years or so...
The sound of the timer on my oven drives me nuts.
Logged in just to thank you... great stuff! lol
I know, right? How the hell are you supposed to sneak melting chocolate chips onto peanut-butter bread in the middle of the night with that thing tattling on you?
My cell phone is even more stupid. If I go to church or something like that and try to turn the ringer down, it actually beeps to tell me that I tried to make it go quiet! WHO DOES THAT???!!! I finally found some setting to make it NOT do that, then I replaced the phone with another with the same manufacturer and the same operating system, but apparently a completely different way of telling it not to talk to me when I tell it to be quiet!!!!
Oh, that’s you? Ok, I’ll stop randomly flicking that wall switch that didn’t seem connected to anything.
That was the sound indicating that you should stop being cheap and buy a UPS that isn’t trash like CyberPower’s product. (They relabel a lot of generic Chinese product and do little of their own development. Their gear is very suspicious.)
Tripplite, Eaton, APC.
It’s the damn fire alarms.
And you can’t even tell which one it is. I went through all the trouble of replacing the battery in one only to find out it was the one in the next room that was beeping.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.