Posted on 07/09/2020 4:06:17 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Getting old is getting old!!!
Probably ... but it’s good to recycle them once in a while. Good to start the day with a laugh or two or three.
Thank you, again...sodpoodle!
I must have been missing your threads...:)
LOL those were funny, thanks!
ROFL
Timeless. :)
Needs a ping for the last one...
ROFL
Thanks for the laughs. We need that. Maybe we can defeat the enemy with cheer.
My dad had a business at home so it was normal for him to be there when I got home from school. One day I walked in to find him sitting on the couch with his hand wrapped up and resting on a pillow.
“Gosh dad, what happened?!”
“I hit myself really hard with a hammer, three times today.”
“Why didn’t you stop?!”
And that’s when the fight started.
True story.
Peach
“There’s no such thing as an ‘Old Joke’ if you’ve never heard it before.”......Groucho Marx...............
the jokes I tell are usually older than me. I still think they are funny
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started...
” “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?” And that’s how the fight started...”
And THAT is the funniest one. AND new to me! ;)
many thanks!
Sodpoodle, it's not personal, it's a matter of survival.
Joan Rivers said she was in bed with her husband and asked him, "Talk dirty to me."
He said, "The kitchen, the bathroom . . ."
And that's when . . .
More Groucho
"This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’
The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’
And then the fight started.....
Reminds me of a mother in law, getting ready for a social function. She came out of the bedroom and approached the man and his lovely wife of just a few years and asked:”Does this outfit make me look fat?” He covered his mouth as the wife leaned over and said, “No, its the fat on your a$$ makes you look fat” The mother in law blamed the man and they haven’t spoken for many years now...
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