Posted on 03/19/2021 11:10:47 AM PDT by JRios1968
Edited on 03/19/2021 11:23:22 AM PDT by Sidebar Moderator. [history]
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk."
You might want to reduce the size of that image.
Could you make the image a little bigger? It’s only about 42 inches wide on my screen.
Punchline?
Thank you. I would never have seen that dangerous keep left sign attacking that vicar, otherwise.
... “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. “You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.”Well, did you see this?””Yes,” motioned the monkey.”What happened?”The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.”They were drinking?” asked the officer.”Yes.””What else?”The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.”They were smoking marijuana?””Yes.””What else?”The monkey motioned “Screwing.””They were screwing, too?” asked the astounded officer.”Yes.” “Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.””Yes.””What were you doing during all this?””Driving” motioned the monkey.
You can park that image in my garage, for a nominal fee.
On the left
That’s funny!
How do I get at the image that they are talking about?
Joe’s will provided $ 30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife,
Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
Well, I’m sure Joe would be pleased, she said.
I’m sure you’re right, replied Jody,
who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
How much did this really cost?
All of it, said Helen. Thirty thousand.
No! Jody exclaimed. I mean, it was very nice, but $ 30,000?
Helen answered. The funeral was $ 6,500. I donated $ 500 to the church.
The wake, food and drinks were another $ 500. The rest went for the memorial stone.
Jody computed quickly. $22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!
Two and a half carats.
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