CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism

The Babylon Bee ^ | May 5, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism.

"Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective," said the anonymous source. "But that's been replaced now. Now we just pop in a tape of Robin DiAngelo, Stacey Abrams, or Joy Behar. Sometimes we'll really ramp things up and make them watch Coca-Cola's diversity training on a 12-hour loop."

Terror suspects will be subjected to lengthy lectures about cis-male privilege, heteronormative patriarchy, and microaggressive mansplaining. Sources say these lectures are 1,282% more effective than regular old waterboarding.

Critics have criticized the new interrogation method, saying that such cruel torture should be limited only to American universities.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Wokeness will win the war on terror!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Subject the terrorist to wokeness, and they are toast!

DANG!

[Secret Agent Man]

Sweet Lord I’d rather take the waterboarding

[a fool in paradise]

[Fred Hayek]

Subject them to lectures by Ashleigh Shackleford, aka Ashleigh the Lion. “Paypal me”.

[LucyT]

######

PING

Article and # 3.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

A Freeper defined Intersectional Feminism as;

A crazy cat lady starter kit.

[House Atreides]

My goodness, if they institute this in SERE training the washout rate will soar back up to what it was in the good old days.

[The Right Edge]

You know, having a job doing this sort of stuff must be so much fun. I couldn’t because I lack the imagination. But I am happy for these people creating so much amusement. These people have got to be “ornery”.

[DesertRhino]

“WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to anonymous sources,”

And THAT was the masterstroke of the whole article.

[drypowder]

the CIA should just play Claus Nomey singing “You don’t own me” to the Arab terrorist captures.

[aquila48]

LOL!

Reminds me of a scene from one of Woody Allen’s movie where a prisoner was confined into solitary confinement with a life insurance salesman.

[metmom]

They could just play clips of kommula cackling when asked an incriminating question.

[wafflehouse]

sometimes satire is too close to reality

[Liz]

In the Billy Wilder film, the torture technique to break down a Communist into confessing was priceless......
forcing him to listen to endless playing of "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" during a brutal
interrogation. He cracks and signs a confession that he is an American spy.

[Liz]

Oh yeah, that’ll do it.......makin’ ‘em watch Coca-Cola’s diversity training on a 12-hour loop........

[Adder]

It should work!

I crack after about 30 seconds of that crap...

[Smellin Salt]

There will be a hundred question test in essay form!

[norsky]

and also this

[Liz]

12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism?

Must be a Do’s and Don’ts for women drivers?