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Biden Announces Partnership With Skynet To Create Army Of Door-To-Door Vaccine Enforcement Robots
The Babylon Bee ^
| July 9 2021
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 07/12/2021 8:23:15 AM PDT by xp38
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden has been hiring door-to-door vaccine evangelists, but as too many people would rather stay home and collect a government paycheck than work for the government and collect a government paycheck, the administration has been having trouble finding enough employees. So, the president has announced a groundbreaking deal with Cyberdyne Systems, a cutting-edge technology company run by an innovative AI system named Skynet, to create an army of vaccine enforcement robots.
"Nothing could possibly go wrong here," Biden said. "We'll be sending these nice young metal fellows out into your neighborhood to make sure you're being good little boys and girls and getting vaccinated. People who don't, well, they assure me these robot folks have ways of dealing with them."
According to insiders, Biden had originally proposed nuking everyone who refused to get vaccinated. Aides were able to talk him down, however, pointing out that killing millions of Americans would mean millions fewer taxpayers. The robot army was reportedly a compromise. And the upside for Biden is that all of humanity will likely get nuked anyway under this plan. "A real win-win, if you ask me, Jack."
TOPICS: Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: biden; skynet
1
posted on
07/12/2021 8:23:15 AM PDT
by
xp38
To: xp38
2
posted on
07/12/2021 8:28:39 AM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(“We maintain the peace through our strength; weakness only invites aggression.” ~ Ronald Reagan)
To: ProtectOurFreedom
Cyberdyne Systems underbid Omni Consumer Products. :)
3
posted on
07/12/2021 8:34:18 AM PDT
by
xp38
To: xp38
"I'll be back...with your second dose."
4
posted on
07/12/2021 8:34:39 AM PDT
by
Deo volente
("When we see the image of a baby in the womb, we glimpse the majesty of God's creation." Pres. Trump)
To: xp38
I predict less like Terminators and more like TSA agents.
5
posted on
07/12/2021 8:34:40 AM PDT
by
cdcdawg
(It's all so tiresome.)
To: xp38
Biden had originally proposed nuking everyone who refused to get vaccinated. Aides were able to talk him down, however, pointing out that killing millions of Americans would mean millions fewer taxpayers.
Killing millions of taxpayers never stopped abortion...
6
posted on
07/12/2021 8:38:13 AM PDT
by
tet68
( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
To: ProtectOurFreedom
So, Robo-Social Worker will be going with them?
7
posted on
07/12/2021 8:47:45 AM PDT
by
seowulf
(Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
To: xp38
8
posted on
07/12/2021 8:54:17 AM PDT
by
gattaca
("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
To: xp38
Dave, you havens had your shot yet.....Dave......dave
9
posted on
07/12/2021 9:04:30 AM PDT
by
V_TWIN
To: xp38
So Biden will select Cyberdyne Systems. It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.
10
posted on
07/12/2021 9:28:09 AM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(“We maintain the peace through our strength; weakness only invites aggression.” ~ Ronald Reagan)
To: xp38
Couldn’t they just get Alexa to nag people until they become mutants too?
11
posted on
07/12/2021 9:29:58 AM PDT
by
PTBAA
To: xp38
They will be draped in the gay flag, so that anyone who opposes them can be arrested for a hate crime.
12
posted on
07/12/2021 9:49:23 AM PDT
by
I want the USA back
(To find out who really rules you, find out who you're not allowed to criticize. Voltaire. )
To: I want the USA back
#OOO Buckshot right in the processor.
13
posted on
07/12/2021 9:52:55 AM PDT
by
Colt1851Navy
(What was wrong with Nixon?)
To: xp38
I just finished the gauss rifle install in the coupola and have seismic sensors 360 on the perimeter. 3/4 of the perimeter is electrified and the remaining is covered with Claymores. Pitty the fool that uses the garden path leading to my back door.
Ya’ll have a nice week!
14
posted on
07/12/2021 10:19:33 AM PDT
by
Delta 21
(Get off your ass and earn it!)
To: xp38
Danged B-Bee.
Giving them ideas, the way Orwell did.
15
posted on
07/12/2021 11:04:23 AM PDT
by
Scrambler Bob
(My /s is more true than your /science (or you might mean /seance))
To: cdcdawg
16
posted on
07/12/2021 11:10:57 AM PDT
by
stickandrudder
(Another Bitter-Clinger! God-Family-Tribe)
To: xp38
Thank for the laugh, Babylon Bee!!
17
posted on
07/12/2021 1:18:21 PM PDT
by
Deplorable American1776
(I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
To: xp38
Will Biden teach the robots how to climb stairs?
18
posted on
07/13/2021 3:50:09 AM PDT
by
COBOL2Java
(Joe Biden is a squinty-eyed turnip brain)
To: xp38
Biden Announces Partnership With Skynet To Create Army Of Door-To-Door Vaccine Enforcement Robots
"No vaccination?!"
19
posted on
07/13/2021 3:53:40 AM PDT
by
COBOL2Java
(Joe Biden is a squinty-eyed turnip brain)
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