Posted on 02/13/2022 10:56:17 AM PST by PROCON
(This thread used to appear periodically over the years and here it is again, original thread posted in comments)
OK LADIES - LEARN THE RULES!!!!!!
The Rules developed by National Fairness to Men Organization. This time like the "United States Constitution" these rules are developed by Men. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules for all women to live by! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
Rules for Women to Live By
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do! Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Thanks for making men sound like goobers.
I hate beer... especially most of the cheap pisswater shit sold in America.
Micro-breweries Bro, go for the gusto, leave the piss beers be.
Talking during commercials. Love that one. Here when the commercial starts it is quiet and I have to ask: what were you saying??
So what?
.
I agree with this 100 percent. My wife has learned to live with it too.
There’s no beer mandate, so relax. Drink whisky.
There has never been a time of greater choice in beer. I’ve never lived in Germany, but this is absolutely true for the USA.
Its a great list.
But only a start.
Best not to get involved with them in the first place. More and more men are happier off, single. Not necessarily not dating, but remaining single. Marriage really makes women happier, not so much, men.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=swRETW6kC-I
https://www.taskade.com/d/B1IMeJrUl?share=view&view=SJG8zlJSLg
https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-marriage-really-make-us-healthier-and-happier
https://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/the-final-say/wedding-talk/men-are-be-better-off-financially-and-emotionally-staying-single-author-peter-lloyd-urges-modern-men-to-shun-marriage-36242453.html
https://www.insider.com/reasons-youre-better-off-being-single-according-to-science-2019-2
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-single-is-better-according-to-science-2018-2
https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a27790346/benefits-of-being-single/
Whats really funny is how gynosociety here says its great for women to be single, but shames men for being single. you will see in every piece discussing benefits of being single, its geared towards wimmin, shows photos of single wimmin, but the articles negative towards it its all male focused and men need to man up. so typically predictable.
Or don’t drink at all. Particularly if you tend to get drunk and be a jerk
I have posted these for my wife. Thank you.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
Christopher Columbus didn’t make it to his planned destination (India) either.
Number 1 was spot on.
Being a snob is not something to boast about.
I hate beer... especially most of the cheap pisswater shit sold in America.
I like beer, hate shopping and liked NFL football until the Democrats destroyed it. I do watch some college games, though.
And I only wear shoes if it’s really cold out or I’m exercising or hiking. So I don’t need many. I’m a sandals gal and only need about five pairs.
And I love *real* men. Not loafer-wearing, soy latte sipping, man-bun sporting, selfie-taking pansies.
Yep. I’ve used that very argument.
Which is why my husband loves me.
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