Posted on 06/23/2022 7:53:14 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Southern cops have a way with words! These are great. These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS.... 16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
That "officer" is a petty tyrant who should be stripped of his badge and gun, then tarred and feathered.
Answering his question would constitute either "lying to the police", or admitting to a crime. Any lawyer worth his salt would tell you NEVER to answer such a question. That "officer" would give the same advice to his family and friends.
HERE’S HOW BAD INFLATION IS:
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer .
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Called to get Blue Book Value on my car. They asked if the gas tank was full or empty.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a
truck.
All pretty believable, and I’m next door in GA. I don’t really know any staties, but know my local chief, lots of the local cops, and the former chief from the city next door who is now the state insurance commissioner and a retired 2-star from the GA ANG.
It is a humor thread!!!!!
Not sure the context of that, but it's not good either. A cop's job is to impartially enforce the law. That's "fair" and if he doesn't get that, he needs to find another line of work.
No, I don't trust the cops. They have earned active distrust.
Eye witness story:
Cops (me and partner) pull over out state car for running stop sign.
Cop: Ma’am, I pulled you over for running a stop sign.
Woman: I’m sorry, I’m not from around here.
Cop: You don’t have stop signs where you’re from?
I read the article.
A sheriff’s deputy in Oregon once gave my mother a warning for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. He reminded her that all four wheels have to stop rolling.
Please don't take them too seriously!
Regards,
I once got stopped by a College cop for running a stop sign (was a slow careful turn at the T, with no other cars coming at at all) at a T-shaped intersection in the rear parking lot of a College building! What stop sign, I didn’t see a stop sign, I said. He got super snarky, said something to the effect...”big red thing, eight sides, (made an image with his upright body and curved arms over his head), says ‘STOP’...” I demanded for him to show me where the alleged sign was—there was no sign at the intersection, at least, not one on a pole anywhere or hanging down over the intersection, which didn’t have “stop” on the ground, either. Instead, it was flat on the side of the building that paralleled the horizontal arm of the “T” of the intersection, well beyond the intersection, facing the vertical arm of the “T.” Never before have I seen that, a stop sign not standing or hanging at the actual intersection itself. After arguing with him, I got a warning only, but boy, his attitude really sucked.
BUMP for Troopers’ Comments...
I know that New York State and Delaware have rolling stop laws.
I once got pulled over for speeding and the cop asked if I was practicing for the time trials at the Indy 500!
Oh Lordy where is your sense of humor
Idaho, too, and maybe some other states, but only for bicycles, not cars. I don’t know of any state that specifically allows rolling stops for motor vehicles.
A lawyer, by definition, is not worth a bag of shit, let alone 'his salt'.
I hate all lawyers, even the ones I paid to bribe corrupt judges.
Kill all of the lawyers is the best lines that Willy ever wrote.
And you’ve shown you have no sense of humor
I saw the video of #16. EPIC burn.
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