Posted on 12/12/2022 3:42:50 AM PST by sodpoodle
This is what all of us 70+ year olds, and those yet-to-be, have to look forward to!! This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there had small apartments but they all ate at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly, so she went back to the dining area.
An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room but found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.
She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.
When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first stair step so they called an ambulance for him.
A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing.
The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one side of his boxer shorts.
I am sending this to my children so that they don't sell the house before they know all the facts.
I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish.
"I wish to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "that is the only wish that I'm not allowed to grant."
"Fine," I said. "Then I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people's best interests!"
"You're a crafty little bastard," replied the fairy.
These definitely made me smile. I needed that. Thanks!
I was TDY at a German anti-aircraft range, in Northern Germany overlooking the Baltic. I was the XO of a 40 man detachment to support American units during the week long live fire exercises.
When we arrived, I sat down with my NCOs, and we all decided that if we did our jobs right, we'd only have to work four days a week.
A few miles off base, there was a small town that came to life every summer. The women fell in love with my soldiers, who returned the affection...lol.
I was usually the acting CO, as my boss spent most of that summer dealing with marital issues 400 miles south.
Can’t decide if that makes me feel humor or sadness the most.
🤔
So there WASN’T a problem with my gas and brake pedals after all!
Oops 😬😬😬
A friend reported her husband was having issues with his sweatpants. She found he was trying to put his legs into his sweatshirt. It was dark.
I guess I’ll stop wearing boxers when I turn 70. Although, that could create other issues. ;)
Chatting with two of my old friends.
I lamented about how hard it was for me to empty my bladder first thing in the morning after it had been full for hours.
One of my friends expressed how he longed to empty his bowels again without having to push so hard.
My other friend said how he emptied his bladder fully every day at 6:00AM and his bowels would empty with ease a few minutes later. I said: “That’s wonderful Gary!” He said: “Aye. Would be wonderful if I got up before 7:00AM.”
I'll help you get your coat.
This is why:
1) You turn on the lights, or
2) If you leave them off, DON'T go commando.
Perhaps the kilt will come back into fashion.
If you live long enough, you get wise enough to see things are just a mess down here and won't get any better.
“Can’t decide if that makes me feel humor or sadness the most.”
Same here. Shouldn’t allow post like this, here on Twitter. LOL
Your comments made me laugh.
As all are anonymous here, I will review what happened to me last Oct 2021. I am a 60-year-old professor and was attending a wedding of one of my former graduate students with my wife and friends.
After the reception, we were bussed back to the hotel (downtown Kansas City), where we proceeded to get a nightcap at the bar before it closed.
We retired to bed, and around 3 am, I needed to relieve my bladder. Yea, I have an enlarged prostate. Fun stuff. I went to the bathroom, and instead of turning right to go to bed, I turned left. I proceeded to open the hotel door and step outside into the hallway. I was sleepy (and probably a little drunk). I heard the hotel door slam shut behind me, and I suddenly woke up. I failed to mention that I sleep commando (no more now). I quickly realized the gravity of the situation and proceeded to bang on the door to wake up my wife. Oye, she is a heavy sleeper most of the time. I panicked and ran down to the elevators where there usually is a telephone. I tried calling the front desk when my wife woke up and realized I was not in the room. She opened the hotel door, hollered out at me, and I proceeded to run to the sanctuary of the room. Fortunately, I did not encounter anybody while I was in my birthday suit at 3 am. New rules now when in a hotel room. I wear shorts, and we lock the door.
Good God...I’ve been doing that since I was 30!
But since you did not, most likely the footage was archived with the other Hall of Fame vids for that hotel.
Yes, that has crossed my mind......
I learned a valuable lesson....
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