And they shop at Walmart:
Posted on 05/31/2023 8:51:30 AM PDT by gnarledmaw
In a story pulled straight from the history books of Australia, humanity is once again losing a battle with bird-kind. According to a write-up in Futurism, feral chickens with supercharged survival instincts have taken over the island of Kauai. The Hawaiian chickens have long made the island famous for their free-roaming status on the local beaches, even acting as a tourist attraction for visitors, though locals of Hawaii have warned that the chickens in question can be quite vicious and may attack on sight.
While complaints about these avian adversaries vary from one local to another, some Hawaiians feel that the poultry pests have impacted everything from their sleep schedule to their agriculture, labeling the creatures as super chickens, which plague the island. The constant crowing of the roosting birds as well as their foraging habits have disturbed locals and impacted their financial stability, much like the highly dangerous super-hogs of the northern United States border. Additionally, much like the hogs, these are no ordinary farm chickens one might cross paths with on a day-to-day basis.
ccording to locals, these Hawaiian chickens are descendants of the wild red jungle fowl which were brought to Hawaii by Polynesian settlers centuries ago, as far back as 1,000 AD. So, given these chickens’ long-standing relationship with the native land, why is this problem arising now? Well, back in the 1980s and 1990s, a number of devastating hurricanes destroyed many of the island’s chicken coops, killing or releasing nearly all of Kauai’s domesticated chickens, which allowed wild fowls to mate with the remaining birds.
Since then, the wild fowl genes have only gotten stronger, seemingly overtaking the DNA of the average coop-bound chicken and turning them into bloodthirsty monsters who yearn for the destruction of mankind…or have raised their natural levels of aggression, one or the other.
This development means that Hawaii has become plagued with a highly intelligent and intensely belligerent breed of chicken that is resilient to the elements and capable of reproducing year-round. It seems that stories of animal attacks on humans have only been ramping up in recent weeks, with the news of these Hawaiian chickens making headlines just days after it was revealed to the public that killer whales have been assaulting boats off the coast of Spain, sending several vessels to the watery depths in the process. With animals seemingly revolting against humanity on all corners of the globe, it leaves us to wonder where we can be safe.
Government officials across Hawaii have already made efforts to curb the uncontrollable chicken population, spending over $7,000 on traps to catch the foul fowls across the island. These efforts were largely unsuccessful, however, as fewer than 70 chickens were caught in the span of several months, leaving mathematicians to deduce that the state of Hawaii spent over $100 per chicken, a staggering rate even with today’s skyrocketing grocery store prices. As the menacing leghorns continue to wreak havoc on the island, potentially driving locals into the awaiting mouths of hungry orcas dotting the coastline, humanity must once again contend with the unstoppable forces of nature.
Nah, Verona.....I was just kinda being sarcastic......it was actually beautiful except for what some of the nasty locals would do.
That and it seemed like the whole country was 75 years behind the times on public bathroom design and plumbing........a hole in the floor to take a dump in and crepe paper for TP.......WTH is that about?
I spent a lot of time in Naples in the Seventies, and it stunk and was a pit.
I remember coming in to Fleet Landing on a launch, and the thick carpet of debris, dead animals, and trash we plowed through was disgusting!
I hear it has been somewhat “gentrified” since then...probably like Olongapo in the PI!
Ghost Chickens In The Sky
A Chicken farmer went out one dark and dreary day.
He rested by the coop as he went along his way.
When all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye.
It was the sight he dreaded: Ghost Chickens in the Sky!
Chorus:
Bok, Bok, Bok, Bok.
Bok, Bok, Bok, Bok.
Ghost Chickens in the Sky!
The Farmer had raised chickens since he was 24,
Workin’ for the Colonel for 30 years or more,
Killing all those chickens and sending them to fry.
Now they want revenge. Ghost Chickens in the sky.
Chorus
Their feet were black and shiny. Their eyes were burning red.
They had no meat or feathers. These chickens all were dead.
They picked the farmer up and he died by the claw.
They cooked him extra crispy, and ate him with cole slaw.
"The Key West chickens are protected. By protected, it means that the locals are not permitted to harm them. Key West Wildlife Center lends locals a humane chicken trap to catch stray chickens when the population of the birds outgrows control and voracious hawks leave the area."
Except this are scrawny birds with tough, stringy meat.
More akin to fighting chickens than eating ones.
Saw so many homeless last time I was there I can’t imagine one not getting harvested once in a wh.
while
Yeah, but those people eat poi ... so I district their culinary instincts.
But can they stand up to the vicious chicken of Bristol?
” I just watched that episode online recently!”
Last night for me.
Yep. Still at the top of the food chain, however.
And they shop at Walmart:
So you can just pick one off with Yer Gamo and toss it on the grill? That’s about an $8 savings.
a chicken in rvery pot, but the democrats took away the stove.
Key West has had a feral chicken issue for as long as I can remember, and I have been going there every year since 1992.
Are there more chickens or gays in Key West?
“I have Polaroid pictures of Waikiki my dad took in 1944”
The polaroid wasn’t introduced until 1948.
I have pictures from 1944.
I just assumed they were from a Polaroid.
What would they be? Just a regular Kodak camera?
Seems as though it might be worth a shot to eat one just to find out. Chicken, I mean.
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