Posted on 03/07/2024 8:16:02 AM PST by gattaca
PLANO, TX — In a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, Doritos has taken bold steps to build strategic business relationships with trans influencers. Following a lucrative partnership with trans influencer Samantha Hudson, Doritos excitedly announced their new spokesperson as Jared from Subway.
"The two snack-loving pedo-influencers are perfect fits to show that Doritos is an ally," said a publicist for the chip brand, "Since pedophilia is obviously huge in the trans community, we believe we've hit the jackpot with these strategic partnerships."
While Samantha Hudson expressed concerns at being overshadowed by a fellow pedophile of such popularity, she could not be reached for comment due to the ongoing investigation into her comment about violence towards children. Jared Fogle, new Doritos spokesman and current resident of cell block 13 in Englewood Federal Correctional Facility, could also not be reached for comment.
At publishing time, Anheuser-Busch had released a new line of Bud Light cans with labels reading, "We Don't Endorse Pedophiles Please Buy Us."
Why does any product need a spokesman ? Just do your Ads using American Hating Kneelers , LOL
I’d boycott Doritos but I never bought them anyway. They’re kind of disgusting.
Unfortunately, the Bee is a future predicting publication. I say that with only a SLIGHT bit of sarcasm.
We are headed toward pedophilia being “accepted”. I thought it was going to be a somewhat slow crawl to that, but I think it’s unfortunately picking up speed.
Nine out of ten corporations use celebrity endorsements. Just ask Edward Bernays.
Wow - that's gotta' leave a mark!
The Story of Jared was unbelevably horrible- what he did to kids- how people looked the other way- even subway allegedly knew what was going on- He was a huger huge deal all over the world before he got arrested- kids all over looked up to him- people in gov had him on- and he was beloved all over the world-
There was just a series on him where they exposed how vile the puke was- He hoodwinked the world- I’m surprised he didn’t get attacked in prison-
There were 14 known victims, and he only got 15 years in prison- he will be out in 2029
meanwhile peaceful protestors on jan 6 got upwards of 22 years in prison- noone attacked, noone sexually molested- noone murdered- but they got more time than jared got after he attacked 14 children and ruined their lives forever-
i cant stand em either- maybe soem flavors might be alright like lime or soemthing- but the flavors i have tried are not very good-
Not pedophilia any longer, new name is ag is “Minor Attracted Person” MAP. Told you this was coming.
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