Media Reports Trump Threatened Nuclear War After He Says, 'This Guacamole Is The Bomb!'

The Bee ^ | March 17, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

U.S. — After former President Trump declared his freshly-made guacamole "the bomb", media outlets across the nation announced that Trump had threatened to drop a nuclear bomb if he were to lose the election.

"This is a clear call to civil war," cried MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough as video played of Trump eating chips. "You heard the words 'the bomb' from his very own lips. Is there nothing this madman won't do?"

Several media outlets reported that Trump's threat of nuclear war came immediately on the heels of Trump vowing to demolish democracy when he claimed he was "about to demolish" some tortilla chips. "We are sickened to hear such vile threats from former President Trump," said Scarborough. "Watch as Trump openly says he's about to 'slice and dice' tomatoes. Slice and dice? Trump is literally saying he plans to cut every one of his opponents into tiny pieces with a knife. Horrific!"

According to sources, the comments came after Trump served up his world-famous guacamole during fajita night at Mar-a-Lago. The guacamole, a family recipe for generations, was made tableside by Trump himself and described as "absolute dynamite" in addition to many other violent and obviously pro-insurrection phrases.

At publishing time, MSNBC had reported that Trump also planned to burn Democrats alive after revealing that Trump described the fajitas as "sizzling."

[Navy Patriot]

President Trump is Back!

[Drew68]

I know this is satire but in all seriousness, I have a hard time imagining President Trump eating guacamole. He has a New York palate.

[Bullish]

This one’s a beaut!

[hardspunned]

I saw that on CNN this morning. lol

[TexasFreeper2009]

LMAO

[BrexitBen]

The people who work at The Babylon Bee must love coming to work every day.

The far-left is a constant source of hilarious material.

[Tell It Right]

I heard through the grapevine that Trump topped his salad off with Russian salad dressing.

[EvilCapitalist]

See! Proof that he’s in league with Vladimir Putin. /sarc

[plain talk]

Perfect!

Trump has always talked NY/Yogi Berra style hyperbole for decades including on a TV show. He is a known entity.

The dems will make hay over these statements. It’s politics.

The voters savvy enough to look past it have already made up their minds on who they will vote for.

We will see what the mushy independents and moderates in the battleground states do this time.

[Paladin2]

Drop the Guac from Space.

It’s the only way to be sure.

[Navy Patriot]

President Trump adapts, you’ll see how much in his Second Term!

[Eagles6]

Don’t you remember him holding the taco bowl salad?😂

[sjmjax]

It’s not satire. I don’t think it’s even from the “Bee”. It’s a typical report from our “main stream” news.

[Drew68]

Don’t you remember him holding the taco bowl salad?😂

Oh, I forgot about that! On Cinco de Mayo even!

"I love Hispanics!"

[mass55th]

"I know this is satire but in all seriousness, I have a hard time imagining President Trump eating guacamole."

I was born in NY State, not the city like President Trump, and I won't eat guacamole. Yuck!!

[deport]

Oh, I forgot about that! On Cinco de Mayo even!

“I love Hispanics!”

*’’’’’”””””

Reckon they have anything to make hair grow? They may
be testing something out now.

[DIRTYSECRET]

I preferred we begin bombing in 5 minutes.

[GOPJ]

Several media outlets reported that Trump's threat of nuclear war came immediately on the heels of Trump vowing to demolish democracy when he claimed he was "about to demolish" some tortilla chips. "We are sickened to hear such vile threats from former President Trump," said Scarborough. "Watch as Trump openly says he's about to 'slice and dice' tomatoes. Slice and dice? Trump is literally saying he plans to cut every one of his opponents into tiny pieces with a knife. Horrific!"

It's easy to imagine Scarborough being a total fool.

[SunkenCiv]

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[logi_cal869]

I’d have been impressed had he done ‘a Reagan’, but about D.C. Perhaps that’s for AFTER the election. /s

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/08/11/reagan-jokes-about-bombing-soviet-union-aug-11-1984-768274