I don't know about that.
Posted on 02/20/2003 1:03:04 PM PST by Chancellor Palpatine
1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into"The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friends fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your spouses birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach. And it's delivered by a topless supermodel. And it's free.
12. Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
19. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
20. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
21. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
22. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
23. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
24. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have $ex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
25. You cannot rip on a colleague who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
26. The morning after you and a girl, who was formerly "just a friend", have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
27. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
28. Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 liters. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 liters, 16 valves, and a turbo.
29. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, or sky blue.
30. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me , you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 2. End of story
Real men drive pickups or SUV's.
You can't haul goats and sheep in a sedan.
You got that all wrong...real men drive Geo Metro's. :)
Only pimply-faced teenage boys and Koreans drive Geo metros.
Har har. Every man knows that there are four types of relationships with women.
• Women that you are friendly with because you want to have sex with them, but have not yet done so;
• Women that you are friendly with because you are currently having sex with them;
• Women that you do not want to have sex with, and hence are unfriendly with;
• Blood relations to whom you are obligated to be friendly despite the impossibility of sexual relations.
• Women that you are friendly with because you want to have sex with them.
:^)
But you can haul chickens in the back seat.
I thought it was the size of the gas tank that determined when you stop.
29. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, or sky blue.
I think yellow falls here as well, especially if it is a truck.
I don't know about that.
And a truck can never be yellow under any circumstances. A truck is manly and bold. Yellow is cowardly.
And a Hummer should be painted in a camoflage scheme or it just doesn't look right. Sorry Joe.
I don't know about that.
Or this. 
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