The (American) Little Red Hen

4/3/2003 | Dave Marotz

[dave981]

Do fables imitate life, or does life imitate fables?

The (American) Little Red Hen Inspired by true events.

For those of you who need a refresher on the original story of the little red hen, try this page: http://www.bres.boothbay.k12.me.us/wq/nnash/WebQuest/little_red_hen.htm

Characters: Little Red Hen - George Bush + the United States
The Duck - The Russians
The Cat - The French
The Dog - The Germans

One 11th of September the Little Red Hen (LRH) was woken up early one day by the sounds of explosions caused by evil men. Rather than jumping to immediate action, she thought:
"The people who were responsible for this should be found and held accountable," "Who will help me find the perpetrators?," she said.
"Not I," said the Duck (Russia), "We have too many problems of our own"
"Not I," said the Cat (France), "It is your fault; you angered them"
"Not I," said the Dog (Germany), working as hard as he could, and not admitting that he was already in trouble himself.
"Then I will find them myself." And she did.

"It was Al Queda and the Taliban in Afghanistan," said the LRH. "Who will help me topple this oppressive regime?"
"Not I," said the Duck - still nursing his injuries from 1980's.
"Not I," said the Cat, "You will be defeated like the Duck!"
"Not I," said the Dog, who just sat there, and said he supported the LRH efforts.
"Then I will topple them myself!" And so she did.

A few weeks later (much earlier than the Duck, the Cat, or the Dog anticipated) the LRH had finished with Afghanistan, but was still not happy, and was worried the attackers had relocated.

"I have fixed Afghanistan, but there is still a disturbance in the world." The LRH sat down to think. "Iraq is developing weapons of mass destruction, is a threat to its neighbors, its own people, and in the near future will be a threat to me! Who will help me topple this oppressive regime?"
All three together said, "Come, let us discuss this issue in a committee. We will pass resolutions to make the regime change!"

The LRH decided she would try the way of the Duck, the Cat and the Dog. Like before, the three just sat there and bickered and argued, and passed resolutions that meant nothing and were ignored. Nothing was accomplished. She was still threatened.

"This 'committee' is worthless" she thought to herself... "I will have to come back and fix this later." (and she would).
"Who will help me topple this sadistic regime of Saddam Hussein?"
"Not I," said the Duck - fearing that he would loose his billions of dollars in oil contracts, and that he would be exposed for selling ammunitions to the regime in violation of their committee's orders.
"Not I," said the Cat - knowing that it had little real strength in the world anymore - except through its committee, and fearing it too would loose billions of dollars in contracts for oil, and would be exposed for selling nuclear technology and materials for weapons of mass destruction to the regime.
"Not I," said the Dog - it too fearing exposure for its questionable sales to the Iraqi regime, fear of loosing contracts, and knowing that its strength as a world leader was slipping as well.

(All three were now moral relativists. All had forgotten how the LRH had saved them in the past. They could no longer see true evil in the world and refused to label it as such.)

"Then I Will!" said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

Seeing that the regime was almost completely toppled, and she was almost finished she decided to ask, "Who will help me rebuild Iraq into a great leader and beacon of freedom within the Muslim world?"
"I will!" Cried the Duck
"I will!" Pleaded the Cat.
"I will!" said the Dog - not wanting to be left out.

"No, No!" Said the Little Red Hen. "I will do that." And she did. (Along with all the little mice of the world from Eastern Europe, Australia, and England. These mice had been left out of this story because they, like in the reporting of the world press, have been ignored; everyone always focus' on the Duck, the Cat, and the Dog.).